EP 222 | How to start to trust your intuition more with Libby Rapin

Your body is giving you information all day long, but most of us are moving too fast to hear it. In this episode, I sit down with my friend Libby Rapin, a leadership and conscious living coach for high-achieving women, to talk about the kind of confidence that comes from inside your nervous system, not from hype or hustle. We get real about why intuition can feel so subtle, why it often arrives without the “how,” and what it takes to strengthen self-trust through stillness, presence, and practice.

We also unpack signs, timing, and the way guidance can show up in unexpected forms when you’re willing to slow down and notice. If you’ve been asking for clarity in your business, leadership, or relationships, this conversation will help you recognize what might already be in front of you.

Chapters:

• 3:43: Building And Closing A Business
• 13:47: How Intuition Speaks Through The Body
• 23:20: Asking For Signs And Noticing Them
• 26:55: Sponsor Fresh Set Hair Mist
• 28:17: You Are The Medicine Slowing Down
• 39:54: Nervous System Tools For Hard Moments
• 53:16: Zone Of Genius And Life Lessons
• 58:37: Final Takeaways And How To Connect

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Transcript

Training The Mind Like Muscle

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You don't gain a six-pack or put on the muscles by eating one piece of broccoli, which is, I love to use that metaphor. Like you cannot eat healthy once. You train your body. You continue to show up at the gym. You're physically conditioning your body and training it. Same with the mind.

Meet Lisa And Coach Libby

Building And Closing A Business

SPEAKER_02 0:18

Welcome to the confident podcast. I am Lisa Tarkington, your guide to mastering confidence and leadership. As a business and leadership coach, keynote speaker, and the founder behind the Nonprofit Lead, I am here to equip you with the confidence, clarity, and strategy to create game-changing results so that you can step into your power as the person that you are meant to be. If you press play today, it's because you're ready for something bigger. Each episode, I'll bring you real, raw conversations and actual insights that will empower you to redefine your leadership, reclaim your confidence, and transform into the unstoppable force you've always been known to be. This isn't just another podcast. It's your journey that we're on together. So buckle up and let's dive into this transformation. Hi, everybody. Welcome back for another episode of the Confident Podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Tarkington. And I have had some amazing guests on this podcast, haven't I? It's been so fun this year to see the energy brought to the table, who's talking about what, different topics, um, but all going back to things that can help us with our confidence. And today's conversation is one that I've been looking forward to for a while. So we're bringing on my friend Libby, who um she has many, many great titles that I'll get to in a second. But Libby has been part of my life since about 2018. And it feels like we've known each other our whole lives. She's been on this podcast multiple times. Um, she also still has the top-rated episode with me called You Are the Um You Had Me at Mimosa. That's what we called it. You had me at Mimosa. It's still our top-rated episode. If you haven't listened, go check it out. And she is just so fun. You know, I talked a couple months ago on this podcast about the summer of 2021 when I was just like true to myself and how I'm coming home to myself this year. And she was actually the person that was on all of the adventures with me, bringing up the play and the fun, but also the professional side of me. And so I'm excited to have her on the podcast. So just a really quick thing on Libby. Libby is a um is a leadership and conscious living coach for high achieving women. Um, her work is rooted in one core belief that you are the medicine, meaning real healing and transformations come from mastering your energy, honoring your battery, body, nurturing your spirit, and learning to trust your inner wisdom. Today we're gonna be all talking about trusting your intuition, nervous systems, who you are, and so many great things that are gonna help you move the needle forward for your life. So let's dive into it. Well, Libby, welcome to the confident podcast for your. I think this is your third time, is it? I think so. I think you were here like right in the beginning when we got started. And then again, which is still like we had one on You Had Me at Mimosa, which is still my top-rated podcast. It's so wild episode, which is so wild. Um, because I've transformed so much since then that it's like really cool to know that that one's still out there. And then today will today you're back. You're back in our studio. You've never got to be with a studio. Oh, you know what? You're actually been on, I think, four times because there was a time that we went to Traverse City and I did one with you and our friend Alyssa. Yes. Oh my gosh. Well, this is amazing. Thank you. But you know, I kind of set the tone for the audience before you jumped in. But you know, one of the things that I always love, like when I get to have someone on that I know, I love sharing just a little bit of like, holy crap, like we've owned a business together. I know it's like crazy. So for those that don't know, Living and I on Blue Wave well-being together. I was packing up a bag today and I actually was finding all my shirts and I was like, I'm gonna wear this one later. It's it's incredible to think that like people always say, so I'm gonna I think this is really cool is like people always say, like, be careful of who you get into business with, because like all these things. I didn't question it at all. We signed like uh an agreement at a bank together. Like we did all these things, you know?

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Mind you, we knew each other for maybe six months, maybe 12. I can't remember the timeline specifically. I didn't, I didn't grow up with you. We were introduced through like mutual connections several times. And I think that was part of the beauty of this, right? Is that I moved back to Michigan and people were like, you need to know Lisa. And you were hearing the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

And so it was just this beautiful enfoldment of synchronicities to align our lives. And then it was just instant, you're a soul sister, like for real explanation.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

For real. Well, and I remember like I was transitioning from my corporate job to like becoming a full-time entrepreneur, and you held my hand in growth uh grove tea was the the coffee shop at the time that we were meeting at. And we built a business together, and I think we won uh competitions together. Pitches, business pitches. Yes, never pitched in my life before. And I think it's so funny. Our first pitch, we won first place. Yeah, which is just so fun, or maybe that was our second one, but like we phenomenal to look back and doing.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

I know. All the things. Well, you are like my sister, because people are like, Are you twins? And we're like, no, just like there's a soul connection here.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

I don't know how to explain that. Both of our sisters, I mean, my sister doesn't look like me at all.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

You know, like my sister's similar facial features, maybe, but blonde hair, blue eyes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Yes. And I think that that's like the beauty of it all. And then we also, I think what was really cool about the chapter too is we both closed the business at the like we had a ceremony for it, we closed it. Yeah. And nothing changed with our relationship. And I think that that's really beautiful too, because that was a chapter of our lives, you know, that we were both like, okay, I think it's time to close the business. And like when I say close, like we didn't just, you know, okay, no more posting or no more going after business, like bank account close, LLC close. Like it is YouTube gone.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Yeah, YouTube. And that was that was super intentional, right? And like getting to that decision was not easy. Yeah. It was an energy that we could feel because we had a lot going on in our lives. We were, I was going, moving out to Arizona, had life transitions, you were having life transitions. And while we loved what we were creating, it was like, it doesn't feel like the right time for this. And when we closed it, we were always like, but it's like still alive, even though we wanted to close. I always call it like an energetic container, right? Of making being super intentional about creating some type of a ceremony, or just we were we prayed together. We prayed together before this to set our intentions and align like what we were calling in. And I think that's so powerful. But like more than anything, that was a tough decision because of we this we still say that was like the best times of our life.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Best times. I literally was just talking about this on the podcast the other day, and someone was like, You talk about the summer of 2021 all the time. And I'm like, you don't understand it was the best summer. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

And so coming to that was not easy, but it was just something that was felt. And through so many conversations, it wasn't just one, it was like, yeah, this actually feels really light and good in my body. And for whatever reason, right now, like we're being asked to like shut it down. But I felt like that was a huge lesson in and of itself of just trusting this idea and this creative energy that wants to come alive. Following that move, we learned so much in that process about running our businesses, which I would imagine that now in our own businesses now, so much of that knowledge, at least for me, is like pouring into that. So much. And also it's just like a huge lesson. And sometimes things go completely unplanned and you don't know why in the moment, but you have to trust. For me, it shows up as body sensations. You have to trust that. Yeah. But yeah, blue wave is still alive. Oh, blue wave, I still love blue. If you have a blue wave sweatshirt, please keep wearing it.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Well, and speaking of that, actually, I was teaching somewhere else recently, and someone's like, So I have this like shirt, and it was from Libby. They had seen Libby at a yoga event and still had a shirt. I'm blanking on what you what I just said meditate. Meditate, meditate. Thank you. Yes, that's what it was. And it's so great to see like full circle moments. And to your point about like the business piece, like I look back and there were moments where we were like, We're we have so much we want to say. How do we simplify? And I kid you not, which is so funny. Um, the other day I had Libby looking over something that I was about to send out to my whole audience, and she goes, That's a lot of information. I chuckled because we used to be the queens of all this information, overload. Like we can't, we couldn't give enough away.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

That's because we're so passionate about what we do, right? And so, like when we get into that state of flow, and I know you are you teach that in your zone of genius. I feel like part of that for us is sharing a message and using our voice. And so it's like when that passion arises, it's like we want to keep going. Yes. And there's so much beauty in that, totally. And what you had put together was amazing. I was like, you had four emails in one.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

I know.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Lisa loves you all. She's just like, you know, giving you all of this content.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

I know. And but like I think what the beauty was is that um, like when you have people in your life that know you, they're able to give you feedback that's helpful a lot, not like this looks amazing. Cause yeah, sure it did, but saying, like, hey, like this might be a lot for your audience. And what I did then with what the information that Libby gave me is I actually made it better because then I was able to break it down, simplify it, but also make it powerful. And I think that that's like the beautiful piece of it. Yeah. So, anyways, like back to like the whole business thing, just incredibly insane to think about, you know, and Libby and I are actually going up north here in a little bit to work on something else here. And I think that that's the coolest piece about being in business with people that get you, that trust the body feels, you know, the the intuition piece. And I, you know, when we were just praying right here before we like got started, I did that the other day when I was teaching a keynote right beforehand. And it it flashed back to our first pitch that Libby and I did. And that was the first time where I had started to set intentions before I did things. Like, yeah, I set intentions, quotes, right? But I really embodied it and now it's just part of my practice, right? Like before you do things. Like, I love that. I don't even know if I knew that. No, you didn't. No, but it's like I think it was, I think you took me to a different level with that. Like, sure, you think it in your head, you visualize it, but we were very intentional about hand on heart, eyes closed, feel the feels. And I really think there part of the reason why we won that pitch competition too was not only were we great, but like we really embodied what we wanted out of that.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Yeah, we create a felt experience in that room, no doubt. Um, especially just knowing that the audience resonated with the message in the way that they did. But when you are aligned to passion, yeah, I think people feel that energy. And that's why for me, before a coaching call, before uh opportunities like this, before getting on a stage, before leading a big meeting with executives, aligning your own personal energy is so powerful. I didn't do this uh probably even, I don't know, not even 10 years ago. So it's been less than 10 years since I started doing this, and it's completely transformed my life because I was somebody that I just have so many thoughts, like a racing mind. And when I'm able to like ground an anchor in my body, it centers me. And you'll notice uh when I talk a lot, I close my eyes. And that's so I can connect to this higher level of consciousness to say, like speak what feels like truth in my body versus just speaking just to speak out of like like in an unconscious way. And so I've learned all of this and just allowing myself even permission to slow down and set intention, and I've seen the ripple effects of how that impacts my clients, like cultivating friendships and relationships like this. And not everybody's open to it. True. So, you know, I even asked you, do you want to do this before like the old days? Right. And I always ask permission. But I love that you like in that moment, I at the pitch, I didn't know that like this, like what we were doing together was some of the first times you had embodied this. Uh, that you had an openness and you were curious and you were like, I'm gonna explore this, and you were able to see the shift it made in you. I mean, it gives me so much confidence, which is obviously like the topic of your show here, of just being able to ground in my body and connect to it. I read my own cues, and that's like for me, that's like I'm I'm in alignment with my higher self and with my God, the way that God is guiding me in this moment, if you will. Yeah. That's I call it God now universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How Intuition Speaks Through The Body

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Source energy. Obviously, I talk a lot about my faith on this show. I think what you're like, what I think is just beautiful is you know, when you have people in your life that you're like, oh, if I call them, they're gonna give you me this advice. If they if I do this, and one of the things that I've always admired about you is how like, you know, when you said like you close your eyes when you talk sometimes, but like you you pause, you think about it, and then your your intuition kind of guides you, you know. And recently we were just talking about something that um, you know, I was giving an opportunity for you to do something, and you're like, you know what, this doesn't align. And I remember that night thinking, um, good for Libby, like good for you, because how many times do we not trust our intuition? Yeah, and we don't trust those things. So speaking of intuition, how does one know? Like, where do you even begin when it comes to that?

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Yeah. Well, so I I would say it begins by getting still and pausing. But Living, that's hard. It's hard. Just getting healthy. Yeah, but it takes practice. It's a muscle you're cultivating, right? Like before this, we were talking about uh scanning our food and healthy food choices. You don't gain a six-pack or put on the muscles by eating one piece of broccoli, which is I love to use that metaphor. Like, you cannot eat healthy once. You train your body, you continue to show up at the gym. You're physically conditioning your body and training it. Same with the mind. We're not taught the importance and the power of learning how to like truly take care of our mental health. I never learned that in school. I didn't have somebody intentionally modeling that in my life. And so this journey has been learning to become still, and that's not to say I still have thoughts at the beginning of this journey of like going inward, I'll never forget my therapist saying to me, Luby, you just need to learn how to be. And I thought being meant that I was still doing like reading a book and you know, journaling. And there's there are definitely that's mindfulness, but learning how to just be with my body for 30 seconds a minute, my practice is longer now, um has really allowed me to be able to become a witness to the experience that I'm having in my mind and in my body. And so without doing that, you won't see the nudges, you won't necessarily get the hits, um, but you might. And we all still get them. But for me, my antenna to connect to my intuition has strengthened the more moments I create in my day and in my life where I am still and I am present, and I'm just like, what feels true for me right now in this moment? And it typically for me shows up as body sensations. Like I get massive goosebumps. It happens a lot, like engagements like this, where it's like I say something and I feel goosebumps, and that feels like my indication of what I said was truth. I keep going that direction. For some people, it might just show up as like a warming sensation in their body. Um, I got a I call them hits or downloads uh in November to do a holiday meditation series and to start it on Thanksgiving, and this was like three days before, and I was like, You want me to do a meditation series every you want me to lead a meditation every day from Thanksgiving to Christmas? And I'm talking to myself in this higher consciousness. And it was like so clear as day, my body was so lit up, and I called my marketing person and I was like, How do how do we do this in the fastest, easiest, most simplest way possible? And we did it. And in that moment, I had no idea why I did it, but it was clear as day that I needed to do it. Now, mind you, I'm gonna continue with the story because this is the power of I had no idea why I needed to do this. I only had 15 people in the group. So of course I'm doing this and I'm leading these meditations every day, and I'm like, there's only 15 people in here, and I'm judging my ego as like I expected this to be like hundreds of people by the way that this download came in, and it was not. However, I kept doing it and I was like, I am committed to this intuitive hit. I'm committed to it. I'm now using that material in other ways, sharing it with a coaching client, sharing it with a friend who the thing of that resonates, right? And so it was like God knew that I wasn't just going to on a random Friday record 10 meditations. It was because they were all intuitive too. Every single morning, I was like, what is alive with me? What message do I need to share in this meditation? And that's what I recorded. Anywhere from five to 10 minutes. So now the ripple effect is the ways in which it's impacting people's lives outside of that specific container, which is not maybe all it was for. Yeah. So this is where you have to trust sometimes, where it's like, I'm getting these hits and this guidance, and I don't know why. Now, the opposite is also true, where I've gotten lots of intuitive guidance to turn right instead of left, connect with this person, and I don't follow it. But then I realize I've been asking and praying for clarity on X. How do I build this in my business? How do I do that? Praying for somebody to just land right in front of me. And it's like I'm getting the guidance on who to connect with, and I don't do that.

unknown 18:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

So there are ways in which we block it because it can feel really scary. Yeah. So, like, as entrepreneurs, how many times are we like asked to like apply for that uh gig? Apply to that speaking engagement, get on stage in front of a thousand people, Lisa, and share your message. And you're like the the stomach starts moving and you're like, this feels so scary. You might not actually submit to that because you're like, oh, my body is like all the feels right now. But at the same time, if you were to follow through with that, you have no idea what that could lead to, and the lot more importantly, the impact of your message on the lives of those people that are in that room. Because we know that more and more people need to hear your message. Yeah. So I share that, and that intuition is typically that voice that's really soft, it's really gentle. You get minimal information typically. Yeah. And that's what can also feel really scary, is that we're not given always the how or even sometimes the what. And these moments come in not when we're in front of a whiteboard brainstorming, when we're driving, when we're out on a walk in nature. I was literally driving in my car from my gym back to my house. It's never when we're forcing it, which also can feel really confusing sometimes when it comes in. But more importantly, a lot of times when this comes in, I sit with it and I'm like, okay, I got this. And I'll just like focus on it. And if my body still lights up and I feel excited and just kind of like alive, it's like I can feel this like fiery, poppy energy. Yeah, that's like a go. And there's all sorts of I don't know how in depth you want to get on this. I've been talking for a while now, so I'll pause, but there's all of these ways too, in which um we just like self-sabotage when that does come in.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Well, and that's what what I was going to ask you, but you kind of like laid off a laid on it a little bit of like, okay, how many times have we all had those intuitions come up? But it's like, oh, this doesn't like not, I don't even want to say not feel good, but I think of like there are moments where something will sit in my inbox, yeah, and you're like, this will take me five minutes to do, or to your point, like if I or you know, outreach for business, like that takes time and effort and law, you know, but when you're being asked to do something, it is easy to want to avoid it because it is not sometimes it's not as simple as we had hoped. But you also said something that was very interesting where you're like, but but it's also usually what we've been asking for. Yeah, it's just not in the way that we are like, hey, like we we want that blinking green light. And sometimes it's like yellow when it's flashing, and he's like, hey, I'm giving this to you, but I need you to tune in. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Yeah, and I think that that's such an important reminder. Um, and I, you know, we create all these constructs as humans of like how we want it to show up. Yes. I I don't know the percentage and how often they really show up like that, but I think it's a lot lower than what we what we anticipate. And, you know, I'm one to believe that the the reason where I'm at, where I'm at, and it's still a muscle I'm exercising. But um, one of my coaches used to tell me that don't shame yourself and get upset if you don't follow the intuitive hit. Like, truly trust that whatever is for you comes back around. Right. And I've had like a book brewing in me for the last seven years, actually eight years, because like that all came in in 2018 when I was traveling and I was so resistant to it. And it's like I believe that like that message still wants to come through because it's still alive. So I believe when something is for you, let's just say it's it always comes back around. But where I was going with what my coach was saying, too. Was that um you have to trust that you you missed a sign, that's fine. If you think about it later, thank God for sending that sign. So here's a silly example, but it it happens. So like um you get the hit to grab your umbrella if you don't keep your umbrella in the car. And you're like, it's sunny out, there's no way it's raining today. And then it freaking rains three or four later hours later, and you're like, I really wish I would have grabbed that umbrella. And you're like, I knew I got that hit for a reason. And so when that happens, I'll just say, you know what? I was aware that I received that guidance from you, and I chose consciously not to follow that, but thank you. Thank you. I saw how that came in. And so that even if you miss it, you're still validating that energy to strengthen. I just, it's like you're an antenna. I really like that. You're the antenna. Yes. Our human vessel is an antenna for this creative consciousness that's swarming around in this invisible, unseen quantum realm. Yeah we know it's there because look at Wi-Fi. Wi-Fi is sent through a channel that you can't see. Yes. I can literally call my friends over in Europe through WhatsApp, Telegram, and talk to them. It's wild. It is. But that's that's the unseen energy.

Asking For Signs And Noticing Them

SPEAKER_02 23:16

Yeah. Well, and you're making me think of something that recently happened to me. And I shared this with you, but I'll share it with the audience. So I remember sitting at my desk in my house looking out the window. I mean, like, okay, God, I just need to know, like, is everything gonna be okay? Like, I just kept like, I was just going through a lot. I'm like, I just need to know. And three weeks later, oh, and I said, um, we had just been out for a walk and we were seeing some animals. Like, we saw some deer, we saw a possum, like things like that. And so I just asked, like, God for a sign. I said, you know, like, can you let me see a fox? Which was so random for me, but also like fox are just a thing for our family. And so I was like, okay, like, and so I just said it and I was like, you know, and I'm laughing a little bit inside, like picturing this like live fox being outside next time, like we go for a walk. Three weeks later, I'm um sitting in the same spot and I'm going, well, I never like saw anything. So maybe I I thought, maybe I asked too much. I did. I thought that maybe I asked too much. Maybe um, maybe things aren't gonna be okay, you know? Like, and all these thoughts, but I'm like, okay, just like let it be.

unknown 24:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

The next day, I kid you not, I'm like, I'm upstairs. My mom had spent the night that night, and she's like, I'm gonna get my son ready. And so I throw her some clothes to put on him. I go downstairs and she brings him down, and I'm playing with one of his toys to get him like propped up. And literally, it's got like all these like animals, and they're like, they pop up. And the first button I hit is a red button, and the red button like says, Fox. And I just like, how many times have I heard this thing? Like all throughout the week, and I just like it just clicked.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

And I looked up, and my son is in a fox shirt, like the whole outfit was great with one fox on it. And it was just so like, got it, got it moment. And then it was even more intense because that night I'm putting my son to bed and I'm like pulling out his clothes to like put him in his sleeper. The only clean thing left was the fox sleeper. I was just like, I just started laughing. Yeah. And I was just like, okay, I first off, A, I was listening finely. Because I probably like, I mean, that pop-up thing we play with every day. I'd probably put him in that fox outfit before.

SPEAKER_03 25:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

And it was just like a reminder of like, I wanted a real fox to like run in front of me to make it so like apparent. And that's not what happened. But a fox showed up three times in my life that day.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Yeah, so there's a fox photo and live oak. So how many times have you been in Live Oak? And maybe we're missing that.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

I noticed that I was hilarious. Yes. And I just, and like to pick a fox.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

You know, and it just so funny. And to your point, like it made me think about like moments where like there have been signs, and like, you know, kind of with my intuition, like I was asking for something, but I wasn't being still. Yeah. I wasn't slowing down, and I was just like wanting it my way.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I love that you have this awareness now and you got the lesson. And it came in glaringly with glaringly three or four like fox signs in one day. So now you know. Yeah. Right. What a beautiful lesson for you. You had to go through that to remember that the way we always want it to come up or appear might be like a real fox. But the reality is that it showed up in another way. And I think that's part of the beauty of this journey. Like for me, we have got to slow down in this modern world.

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SPEAKER_02 26:52

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SPEAKER_01 28:17

Like it is apparently clear that with the rise in mental health, the rise in disease, that there is an epidemic of, I don't even know what I would call it. Um, we're just we're uh operating faster than what the bodies were built for. Yes. Let's just say. And we we are, I truly believe that like all healing begins by going within. And my tagline for my business is now you are the medicine because this has been my journey. The journey of truly healing mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, begins with you. Yeah. How you treat your body, the stories you're telling yourself, your choice to make the scary decisions and start the business, your choice to say no when your boss comes to you and says, We need to move this deadline up two weeks, which means that you're working 60 hours a week and your team members might have to do the same when in your body you're like, this is not fine, this is not okay. I need to say no. So the more times that you are living and making choices and moving and choosing healthy thoughts, that is your medicine. It can show up in the forum also as like a pharmaceutical, but I'm talking about like something deeper here. There is a s there is an ability to connect with this, but you cannot do that by moving at the speed in which we're living your lives today. We have got to slow down.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

And I think you what came up for me as you were talking is also like when we go deep, we find our inner truth and we find out like what who are we? And it's so interesting that you say that because right before we started to come here, I've been like thinking all day about like, you know, next steps and like who am I? And like my identity shifts over the years. Yeah. And one thing that came up was that sometimes, like, it's funny, like I look at my branding and I joke sometimes. Like, sometimes I'm loud, sometimes I'm calm, sometimes I'm like like neutral, like all of these things. And I was laughing today. I'm like, I've never been calm in my entire life. Like, not in a bad way. Like it's just like like in a in a beautiful, I am calm, but like I'm a very loud person. And I've noticed that like part of like this journey for me is I've quieted the loudness. Yeah. You know, I go back to that summer of 2021 when we like I was I was not quiet. Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Like I was how does how does quiet show up for you, like behavioral? What are you referring to?

SPEAKER_02 30:52

So I think like just like when I think of like even like the words that I use and like, you know, like quieter and more gentle. I would say gentle. Like I'm a gentle human in certain ways, very much so. Like I'm an empathetic, like servant, uh, servant leader, things like that. But I'm I am loud. Yeah. And I think that, you know, you get feedback from people over the years of like, hey, you know, you might want to tone it down here, or when you said this, this is how it came off. And like my initial reaction is okay, like quiet everything.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

You know, not, and I think what you're what's coming up for me is so when you talk about this, is like, well, who am I? And what do I how do I want to that to show up? Because I do believe I show up my true self. It's just those little pieces as you grow and shift over time, where it's like, I might have quieted this piece of me because of X, or I might have been louder here than I really wanted to be. And it's all because of life.

SPEAKER_01 31:45

Yeah. Well, and I think that as we, you know, continue on the journey of life, we go through so many seasons and there are so many different self-identities that we're moving through. You've gone gone through major life transitions in the last few years around like professionally, obviously starting a family. Yeah. And so uh that's beautiful. And so it's like these are all aspects of self and there's space for it all. And I think that I'm in this season too, of like deeply accepting that there's a part of me that is like this spiritual woman who just wants to be doing yoga and meditation all day and walking the beach, and this woman who is a businesswoman who has a message and is finding her authentic voice and is feeling really feisty and fiery about the reality and the chaos in this world, and like wants to help people. And so it's like, how do I honor that there's space for it all? Um, and uh just really like acknowledge that because I think for a while there was like this persona of like, well, this is who I am now. I'm like into yoga and meditation, and there needs to be a softness, and you give away things for free because that's what you do in the spiritual community, right? And so, like, I bought into that. And then there was like something that felt off where we're like, well, like, no, like, actually, what I'm saying is not all I have to say. And as I kind of was on my own journey and like having all these experiences with my coaches, it was like there was so much that wanted to come up that I needed to share, but it felt wrong to speak like that or to swear once in a while in my Instagram post, or what does a spiritual woman do that? And so I'm to this point, like I turned 40, it's like I'm in my pocket 40s, excuse my French, and I just don't care what people think anymore at this point because I'm evolving, I'm human, I've accepted that there are all of these layers of shedding, um, different aspects and identities throughout my life, and I will continue to do that. And it's my life. Yeah. And I'm just gonna honor where she's at in this moment and know that there will be days to be walking on the beach, meditating, doing nothing else, and days when I have opportunities like this, where it's like dress up, put on the nice jewelry and the lipstick, and it's a different, a different aspect of who Libby is throughout her life.

SPEAKER_02 33:57

Yeah, yeah. And I love, I love that you bring that up because you're right. Like you you bet I love my heels that I'm wearing right now, my blazer, but you know I can't wait to be in my yoga pants tonight, too, right? Like it's it's both. It's it's not a and or it's not an or. It's uh you can be both. And how does that show up? And I think to your point, like I I was just thinking a lot even this morning when I was on the treadmill about like, you know, you hear a lot about brand, what's your brand? And it's like, well, I am multiple things. And I think that that's so beautiful. Like, and how does that show up? Not only from like, I guess from a business perspective, but just like in a Lisa perspective. Like, how do you just be Libby? How do you just be Lisa? Yeah, and how does that show up? Because, you know, I think a lot about the personas that we put on sometimes, but I also think like, you know, safe place here with the podcast is like, I'm always me here. Yeah, you know, and how cool is it to have like a place where you're like, this is who I am, this is what I'm going through and honoring that, you know?

SPEAKER_01 34:52

And I think the more we do that, it gives other people permission too, right? Because I think part of um when I go back to my brand of you are the medicine, we when we look at pictures of ourselves 10 years ago, we look very different. We have a glow. And I'm not saying this, I'm saying this so humbly but proudly that like the reason that we look like we're in our 20s and we're not is because of the work that we've done and shedding the old identities, shedding behaviors that didn't serve us, letting go of relationships that didn't serve us, and that has been our medicine. My body is physically healthier, my heart is healthier, my mind is healthier, like everything about my life experience is completely different because I've learned to just like really like step into this authoritative power that I didn't feel like I had permission to do in order to figure out how do I want to live my life.

unknown 35:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:47

I was uh definitely a people pleaser and just doing things because I thought it made other people happy and then I'd be liked and be validated and feel wanted and needed and like all of the things. But I couldn't tell you again, going back to my therapist, I'm referencing her twice. Man, she's very alive today. Um, she said, What do you love to do for fun? And at the time I was working crazy hours, I was working in tech. I literally was like, play volleyball. I hadn't played. I literally said that and I remember it so clear because I remember thinking, that was so dumb. You haven't played volleyball since like high school or college. That's not a hobby. That's not who you are. And so she encouraged me to like begin this journey of like, who is Libby? And so you ask yourself the question of who am I? And it was like, well, I'm a sister and I'm an aunt and maybe a partner and a businesswoman. And those are all identities. And at the core of that, when I really sit with the who am I through my meditation practice and through studying different like spiritualities at this point in religions, who I am is what I believe is just like a soul having a human experience. And how cool is it that I get to design this life? And so I get giddy about I can make whatever decision that I want. How cool is this to have this permission? But that was not who I used to be. Yeah. I hated making decisions for myself. I second guessed myself all of the time. It was like not fun for me. Yeah. And now I literally I said this recently to somebody who um is starting a business. You get to make up the rules. We're all doing it, and it's so fun and it can be stressful sometimes. But like, how cool is it that we live in this life and every day we have a choice? So many people don't think that they have a choice. Like, I feel powerless to my employer or to my partner or to my kids or to my parents or whoever. And I actually just had this conversation with a coaching client as well. You always have power. Your power is being able to say no when you truly want to say no and not just saying yes. Your power is in speaking truth, even if you feel like there could be a repercussion. Your power is deciding to not go to the party even though you've already committed because you had a 60-hour week and you have a migraine. That is you still have power in every single moment. And I think it's there's a reason that this is feeling alive when we didn't plan to be talking about this right now. But like I know for me, I'm in this season of like reclaiming that, like remembering all of this. It's like conceptually, I've read all the books that say this, and there's a deeper layer of embodiment that's happening.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

And I think that like life is the greatest curriculum and workshop for us. You can read all the books, read all the podcasts, and go to all the retreats. I'm all for that. And also, you need to practice living and embodying that which knowledge and data and information you're taking in. You can't just sit on the hammock and visualize it, and it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Yes, I yes, 100%. Well, and what you're also bringing up is something that I have seen consistently with almost half of my coaching clients is just like, who are you?

unknown 39:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

Like what do you know? And it's it's an interesting piece because when I do ask those questions, everybody pauses.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

Yeah.

Nervous System Tools For Hard Moments

SPEAKER_02 39:22

Because we're trying to like they, I think it's just, I would say, an evolution that I'm seeing right now where people are like, yeah, who am I? Like, who does this person want to be? Like, because you are sometimes living for other people or others' agendas, and how does that show up? And I've said multiple times on this podcast for 2026, it's like, this is the year I come home to myself. And so it's really cool to think about who you want to be. And so when we talk about intuition, you know, we've talked a little bit about like sitting still, staying focused there. Who are you? You still have to sit still, you have to go inward to go there. There's this piece that I find fascinating in all of this is is when you're going through change in all of this, the nervous system can feel it. You know, the nervous system, um, you can go into fight or flight um when you're going through change, um, when you're not listening to the intuition, right? All of these things. And so one of the things that I I'm gonna go back to years. I don't know if you ever like think about this of like things that you have to do now that might have happened years ago, and how like your nervous system starts to come alive again of like, oh yeah, that didn't go so well 15 years ago, and then all of these feelings come up, or you become paralyzed by an email, or you're like, okay, I how do am I in fight or am I flight? Like, what where am I right now? And so take us to a moment maybe in your life where like your nervous system was really, really feeling it, and how you work through that because I think that that has a lot to do with what we're talking about as well.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Yeah. Um, that's such a beautiful question, and I I love that. And you know, I think one of the things for me is that um when we have experiences, it's like it leaves an imprint in our energy field, let's just say. And so when we uh get into other experiences that mirror that in some way, and that's not to say that it looks exactly the same or the same characters or the same people are involved in that, but it's the same subconscious pattern that's moving through. So for me, I'm just because I've kind of started to talk about like being in full expression and finding my voice again. When I was young, I hated being in front of people. Recitals, um, when you have to do those little like spring singing thingies that you do, I don't know what they're called, like when you're in elementary or middle school. I have a a memory of being so nervous and so upset and crying and being at my house and not wanting to go, and my parents literally having to pick me up and put me in the car because I was like so resistant to go. And it was the fear of truly just performing in front of people. Okay. So then it's like you go on this journey. I was always in positions. This, this, and this was so alive in everything that I did now that I look back, where I always got myself into positions where I very quickly was promoted to leading, which meant that I was in a room with executives like a couple of years out of college, presenting about how to build HR teams. And I literally didn't know what I was doing. It was like I just made it up as I went and sounded confident and you know, put a little bit of research and statistics statistics in there and speak like with authority, and you like kind of like pretend to move through that. But through all of those experiences, it like it would always make me nervous. And I still get nervous when I'm getting on stage where you get the butterflies on your stomach and all of that. But uh basically what would happen is that like sometimes you get so nervous that you get in your head and you forget what you're gonna say, or it's like I rehearsed this 50 times, I should know what I'm saying, and the mind goes blank. Like, that's typically like a trauma response. And so the nervous system in that sense is in that moment is just getting hijacked, if you will, from the maybe core memory that created that or whatever memory it's connecting to, and it thinks about this idea of like getting in front of people and having to present or perform.

SPEAKER_03 43:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:24

And so I have had to work through I it's definitely not a social anxiety, but this uh uh embodiment of feeling like I had to be a perfectionist and be so put together and not make a mistake, which was like as a child wanting to show up and be perfect, and then through my professional career, also wanting to like impress people. And I was in my young 20s with all of these older people in the boardroom and needing to put on this new uh it's like a way of being and presenting to make me look like I had authority, and I didn't truly believe like. I had authority. And so it was. Um, I feel like I'm losing my train of thought here with like kind of going through the story, but like the idea then of like what would I do now? Like, what would I tell the younger version of Libby that was going into that boardroom would be some of the things that we have already talked about to prepare my energy and my nervous system. So maybe it's like setting intention and doing a meditation before I go in. Maybe it's um I a lot of times when this comes up in my body, so it's like maybe I'm getting ready to present and I notice that fear, I sit with that and I like put my hand on my heart and I'll be like, I see you fear. I see you fear of like getting on that stage and sharing your message and potentially being rejected, or somebody like arguing your point and not agreeing with it because I want to make everyone happy and I want everyone to buy into what I have to say, right? It's like I see you, and it's totally okay because in this moment, this was an opportunity from God, and you are meant to be serving in this way, and it's okay, you will touch the lives you were supposed to touch, and it's okay to be scared. But in this moment, I'm choosing to move forward with grace and confidence and clarity and trust and knowing that there is a deeper purpose as to why I'm here. Like I wish I would have, I wish I would have known all of this when I was younger. Yeah. There's a lot of different people out there teaching uh somatics, which um is a form of nervous system regulation, could be through breath work, could be through like shaking. I do like if I get out of an environment that felt like really highly emotionally charged, and I notice that like I all of a sudden have racing thoughts or might be really moody, like I've taken on that energy, I literally go like this and I just like shake myself off and I'll just like jump up and down. And for me, it's just a symbolism of like releasing that energy. And that comes from like if you watch nature and just driving back from obviously West Michigan here last night at dusk, there were tons of deer. If a deer, you know, gets hit or like maybe not hit, that's still very violent. It's getting chased, you know, and it it is a very, it goes into basically flight, has to flee the scene of whatever animal is chasing it. There is a nervousness that that deer might have. And so what do animals do? They shake it off. I don't know how long they shake for, but I know that they shake. Wow. And then they just go back and they join the herd again. And so, anyways, I share that in that there are so many different ways to regulate your nervous system. For me, it's been meditation, breath work. Um, I am using a lot of somatic work. I have learned a lot of like energy work techniques over the years. Um, I've learned so much and it all is so helpful. And I don't say this to overwhelm anybody that's listening. It's like, you know, I've always prayed in this moment. What do I need? What would what would serve me to come up in a more grounded um state? And I might hear breath work, I might hear meditation, I might hear go to your altar, I might hear go find this book, and you know, you turn to a page and you're like, that's what I needed to hear. Sometimes, you know, it just there's so many things you can do. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 47:09

No, I love that. Well, and I think um obviously with a lot of changes comes, you know, for me, the nervous systems pieces. And recently I um I go back to something that happened in my corporate years where I had to send out this mass email, and everything that could have gone wrong, everybody was like, you get all the names that need to be on this list. And then everybody approves the list. Like it was a it was a whole thing. Well, we sent it to the wrong group. And I will never ever forget that. But I also go back to like, I just remember sending that because I like closed my eyes and sent it, you know, walked away, walked back, like all the things. And I'll never forget sending that it going wrong. And then like my nervous system was feeling it, like my like all the things, because then I had to go downstairs. We were, we were traveling, and I had to go tell the leader who was so adamant that it had to be perfect, yeah, that it wasn't perfect. Yeah. And I'll never ever forget this moment because I walked in there and like normally I would avoid it, right? I would avoid it. And I walked in there and I looked at him and he goes, I'm not really happy right now. And I was like, I'm not very happy either. Like we both just agreed on that. And I said, I apologize. And he was like, I've not met at you, I met at the situation. And I was like, Okay, but like let's fix it together. And I remember that so well because my nervous system was like feeling all the things. I will won't lie, I wanted to fly, like, flight. Like I wanted to leave this moment. I wanted to curl up in a ball and like not deal with it. And then recently I had to send out another mass email and like four things went wrong. Someone wasn't happy. And then I had to send out a small email.

SPEAKER_03 48:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

And I remember thinking in my head, like, well, I just sent out this and those things went wrong. This is gonna happen again. And like my body, like when you think about the moment where your body just kind of gives out, that's how it felt for me. My nervous system fine, like really gave out. But I think what I like to your point, like I had to take a deep breath in and be like, okay, so you're gonna allow this to stop you forever. Like, girlfriend, like you gotta move past this. Yeah. And me following through, and like, you know, it took me an extra hour of my day to like, you know, make everything perfect. And I sent it and no issues. And my heart just was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

Because I had to push through it. And that's hard. Yeah. And I think it was so brave and so courageous of you to like go to your boss and to approach it the way that you did and to invite him into a collaborative, like, let's fix this, right? Versus playing victim and making up all of the excuses that you could have. That's true. But it's so important that like when our nervous system is having some type of a reaction, we could get flush in the face, our heart uh might start beating, the digestion starts to wreck a little bit of havoc. We might get headaches, tensions in our shoulder. Like, that's the body's way of like it's like the signal for us that something's happening. There is whatever that might be, we can call it fight or flight if we want, we can call it a nervous system, you know, reaction. It doesn't matter what the label is. The reality is that something is happening. And you said something so powerful that a lot of times we want to push it away. And it's very important that we don't because that's for me where that type of discord and uh tension and incongruence from that reaction stays energetically in the body. And that for me, that happens enough times. My beliefs are that that is what creates and leads to disease because there are distortions in our energy field from those types of experiences. So in that moment, I don't know what you did, but like just using this as a real life example, you have the oh shit moment. It went to the wrong group, your heart starts racing, you had all of these physical reactions happening in your body. Before going to your boss, you could have just sat there and breathed through it and felt it. Feel the discomfort. It is so people are so scared of feeling the discomfort. But it's just uh it's just data. True. There's nothing else happening. We create all of these constructs, but like feel the discomfort because the more you resist something, the more it persists. That migraine could go away in potentially a couple of minutes if you're noticing it, versus letting it go on for days because you're not willing to look at the pain or the authentic emotion that are like arose in that experience. So be with that. That's what and that's something that I've had to learn. Like I I couldn't even label my emotions. I couldn't tell you what I was feeling. Everything was frustrated. So I had to really learn how to truly connect with like and learn like what does this emotion feel like? What does this feel like in my body? And teach myself that over the years because the discomfort felt scary and I always pushed it away. And so I would push it away by like staying um addicted to work, by deciding to go out and say yes to the happy hour that I didn't really want to go to, by just staying busy cleaning the house versus sitting down for a couple of minutes and just feeling that and like consoling my inner child that was like being reminded of the original core memory that had like created this like response in my body and like healing that. Yeah. And I don't I guess it just the discomfort of that, um you know, can feel really scary. Yeah. But I think learning to invite that in with grace and love and to just see it as purely just something that comes and then goes. I mean, everything comes in waves. Yeah. Um, you know, with all the thoughts we're having, it's like I think the the science is like 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_01 52:57

Like it doesn't have it's not gonna stick around if we don't give it the power. But I wouldn't encourage anyone listening to this message to like allow yourself the space to be with that discomfort and you will move through that in a completely different way. Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that.

Zone Of Genius And Life Lessons

SPEAKER_02 53:14

Whew, okay. So lots, like lots of good things. So I kind of love when I end um podcast, I love to ask like a round, like quick questions. Oh no. I know. Be ready. Uh, first question I always ask is Libby, what is your zone of genius?

SPEAKER_01 53:33

Oh my gosh, what is my zone of genius? I don't know if this counts as a zone of genius, but I would just say like allowing people the space to become present and creating connection. People have always reflected that back to me, and I never understood like what I was doing. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I would say my zone of genius is just is presence.

SPEAKER_02 53:57

Does that count? 100%. And I can attest to that because I and I say that because when I need someone to be present and like hear me, um, Libby does a really good job of that for me. I also love when I even had you do something the other day and you were like, well, what do you need from me? And I'm like, love that too, because then you aren't making that assumption. You just create the space that I need in that moment. So yes, you do that for people. Um, okay. Next question is Is what's a lesson that you felt like the universe kept teaching you until you learned it?

SPEAKER_00 54:28

Oh my God, there's so many. Oh my gosh, like we need an entire episode. Can we come back next week and like talk about this so I can be a little bit more? We have so many.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

Oh my gosh, girl, it like I think the big one that comes up for me, biggest lesson in my lifetime, is learning just to like find it's almost like allow myself to be who I am in that moment and to know that it's enough. When I don't have the answers, it's okay. That makes me emotional hearing that. Keep going. Yeah. Like it's beautiful for you. Oh, thank you. I think I put so much pressure on myself of needing to try to meet so many people's expectations and be perfect. Um, whatever that means. It's like a per literally, it's like sometimes I just laugh at myself. I think maybe that's another lesson. Just freaking laugh and have fun and make it playful instead of making it a big, like uncomfortable experience with all of this highly charged emotion. I can't tell you how many times my coach called me out yesterday, and I was in the car driving here to this area, and I was just laughing at myself, like how did I not see this? And so, like, I used to get hard on myself, like, how could you not see that? Versus, how could you not see that, Libby? That is like so funny. There's a different tone and energy to that. So I think just allowing myself that grace of it's okay to mess up, it's okay to not say the right thing. Um, and just knowing that like everything is perfect right now. Yeah, yeah, has been huge. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 56:04

Well, and I want to point out something that you said that you have a coach, and so do I. And I think a lot of people don't realize like coaches, as a coach, I am so grateful I have a coach. It has like cannot recommend it enough. And I know that you know, people are like, but you're a coach. You say that I'm like, it if I didn't believe in it, I wouldn't have one. And it is, it is a life changer for me.

SPEAKER_01 56:24

I it's so it's it's always like you're doing we we say and we teach the things that we need to like embody ourselves. So like that's also maybe something I'm Lard. Like, there's a reason I'm in this. You know, there's a big soul lessons happening in this lifetime. However, um, I've always had somebody close in my corner because it's like I get in my own way. I think people also perceive that like even if we're coaches, we have it all together. Like that is totally not true. I am able to show up as the coach that I am because of the lessons that I am learning myself. And I always say I get the lessons before my clients do. So sometimes when it feels really crazy, it all of a sudden, you know, might be the next week, two weeks, a couple months later, you're like, oh, this is why I had to go through this, right? So we can only take people as as deep as we've gone in our journeys, which I think is why we are like such exceptional coaches, because we're just like, give it to me. I've been praying, like, just give it to me right now. Like I am ready for this journey. Keep using me to like spread your word and like, you know, bring goodness and love into this world. Like whatever needs to go, like, I'm just doing it. And there's been a lot coming in, but it's like it also at the same time going back, I asked for this. I'm not gonna be upset about it. Like, give it to me now. Yes, I feel that's my core.

SPEAKER_02 57:37

And I literally, right before I kid you not, in the car before we came in here, I was reading a LinkedIn post that said, find coaches that have depth because when they've done the the deep in the work, they can be a better coach. And you literally just said that. So it's like, yes. And I like when I was reading that, I was like, Yes, I feel like I'm a better coach because of how deep I've gone. Oh, yeah, on so many levels. So yes. Um, okay, last question is is um obviously we used to teach play together. So and we've we've sang karaoke together of many probably once or more times than we want to admit. Um, what would be your walk-up song or your karaoke song?

SPEAKER_01 58:12

Right now, in this moment. Yes. Well, I don't sing karaoke, but I'll tell you the songs that I'm dancing to. Okay. Can I switch your question a little bit? Yeah, okay. Olivia Dean, Mad I Need All the Way Obsessed in Harvest, the Remix by Lincoln Jesser. He's a DJ. Listen to that. So good. You're gonna love it. It's like they're like my dance songs when I need to like get myself moving.

Final Takeaways And How To Connect

SPEAKER_02 58:36

The mood. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 58:37

Awesome.

SPEAKER_02 58:37

Well, Libby, thank you so much for coming back on the podcast. I love our conversations and our friendship. And so um, to everybody listening, I know you probably took some amazing things away. So um, thank you, Libby, again, of course. Thanks for having me. So thanks so much for tuning into today's podcast. I had such a great time talking to Libby about understanding our nervous system, understanding our intuition, and really how to like slow down and trust ourselves and know that what is meant for us will actually show up, even if it has to come around a few times. I loved her stories. I love the relationship that what I have with her. And I hope that you took away so many great things like I did. Even though, you know, these are many things that I teach and hear, it's always a great reminder to come back to ourselves and do the inner work. So if you like today's episode, please let me know. Subscribe to our YouTube channel, check out our website, and as I say on every podcast, continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet. And have a great day. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Comfident Podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it. So send me a message at podcast.lisa Turkington.com. Don't forget, while you're there, to subscribe to our newsletter, subscribe to our YouTube channel, and don't forget to spread the good by sharing this with someone in your life. Remember, you have the power to choose confidence every single day. Keep showing up, keep striving, and keep believing in your potential. I'm carrying you on, and I'll see you next time.