The Confident Podcast

EP 216 | Pauses, Pivots, And The Power Of Self-Connection with Sarah Fechter

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What if growth finally clicked the moment you stopped gripping the wheel? I sit down with Sarah Fechter, owner of Sarah Fechter Fitness, a global online coaching and premium in-person training business to unpack how real change happens. Throughout this episode, we get honest about the parts of leadership most folks skip: learning to lead humans, not tasks; investing in mentors earlier; and helping teammates see their vision inside yours. We share practical tools you can use today like always measure backwards to see progress, ask curious questions instead of assuming, and set boundaries that are real, not avoidance in disguise. We also dig into delayed gratification, why multitasking steals presence, and how your body signals misalignment with tightness, racing thoughts, and a quickening pulse.

Hit play, then tell us the pivot you’re making this year. If this conversation helped, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it.

Chapters:

  • 9:40: Introducing Guest Sarah Fechter
  • 10:05: Origin Story: Grief To Fitness Mission
  • 14:05: Building A Gym And Pandemic Identity Shock
  • 18:15: Mentors, Leadership, And People Skills
  • 22:35: Presence, Assumptions, And Delayed Gratification
  • 26:05: Measuring Backwards And Taming Overwhelm
  • 29:15: Boundaries, Control, And Letting Go
  • 33:05: Rock Bottom, Identity Shifts, And Lasting Change
  • 38:20: Play, Flow, And Attracting Opportunities
  • 41:10: Rapid-Fire: Zone Of Genius And Life Lessons
  • 45:08: Closing Takeaways And Listener Invite


More than just a podcast:

SPEAKER_00:

Building a business is building relationships one by one by one.

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to the Confident Podcast. I am Lisa Tarkington, your guide to mastering confidence and leadership. As a business and leadership coach, keynote speaker, and the founder behind the Nonprofit Lead, I am here to equip you with the confidence, clarity, and strategy to create game-changing results so that you can step into your power as the person that you were meant to be. If you press play today, it's because you're ready for something bigger. Each episode, I'll bring you real, raw conversations and actionable insights that will empower you to redefine your leadership, reclaim your confidence, and transform into the unstoppable force you've always been known to be. This isn't just another podcast. It's your journey that we're on together. So buckle up and let's dive into this transformation. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the confident podcast. I am your host, Lisa Tarkington. And it's been me for a while on this podcast, having a lot of solo episodes. And today I'm really excited that I'm going to be bringing on a guest. But before we dive into that, I wanted to give you guys some updates as I normally do. So last time we had a podcast episode, I shared with you. The next day I was flying out to Podfest, which is a conference around podcasting. And I think that that was so beautiful for me in multiple ways. And I don't think it was just because it was about podcasting and what I can bring to you as listeners. But have you ever felt like, okay, I'm in the groove, I'm in my bubble. And sometimes I needed that, you need that bubble to burst so that you can see what else is out there. And that's how I have felt leaving. I was reflecting on my time there. And what I noticed was that it felt really good to be around some visionaries like me, people that are probably like crazy entrepreneurs who have big dreams and that want to cheer each other on. It was also really cool to learn from people that are, you know, operations, very, very strategic and learning from them as well. Um, and just not feeling alone on the journey with podcasting, right? Like sometimes we kind of get into our own way, and maybe you've been on your um own journey or in a bubble for a while. And so it's just nice to be around people that get you. Um, but with all of that, there was a lot of family stuff going on too. You know, my my son had a little sickness before we left. Um, and it was his first time flying anywhere. Yeah, he's eight months old. And I will tell you, it was one of the coolest experiences taking my son on a flight. I love adventure. I love flying places. It's just always been who I am. And to watch him being able to experience that with me was really awesome. Um, he was such a champ, even though he was still fighting a little bit of his cold. And I have to say, like, I my husband also came with me. And, you know, they always say, like, marry someone who makes your life better. And I will say that that's my husband. Uh, while I was at the conference, he took care of Lucas. He is just such a rock star. So just had to say a big thank you to my husband for all of that. And I just learned so much. And I think that it was really cool. One of the things that I took away is I've gone to conferences before. You take the business cards and you're like, yeah, I'm gonna follow up. Like, it was so great meeting you. The one thing that I really liked is that we set up meetings right then and there at the conference. I was set, I had like three meetings after conference sessions. I had meetings on the following week. And it was just really phenomenal to be surrounded by people that are like, okay, like if we're gonna do this, let's do this. And so that's just kind of like podcast world. Um, but I also wanted to share some news that came out last week that I am making some pivots in my life and in my career. And I have decided to um transition for my leadership role at the nonprofit that I built from president and founder to founder and board member. Yes, um, at the end of March, I'm going to be taking on a new role as board member and to take on new endeavors as an entrepreneur. Um, this was a really, really hard, hard decision for me. And I'm gonna save all of that stuff for future podcasts. But I think one thing that I love the most is the support that I got, the people that were there to support me. Um, how you know that it's okay to walk away from a baby that I built when I was just 21 years old and I'm not 21 anymore, if you're wondering. And it was a blog, and then it became a nonprofit. And then we evolved our name just a couple of years ago. And so with all of the pivots and chains, I also grew up during that time. And I'm really excited for this next journey of my life. So stay tuned for more information on that as we come. But today, again, like I shared, is it's just not me. Um, I have someone who is coming on. And I have to say, we have some pretty cool guests coming on. So I'm excited that this person is our first one. We are going to be talking about pausing, pivot, self-connection, business, and just sharing like what we've experienced and how it can really help you. Um, so let me introduce our guest for the day. We had Sarah Fector, a health and nutrition coach. Um, she is also the owner of Sarah Fector Fitness, a global online coach, coaching and premier in-person training. And she is awesome. I've been following her journey since I moved back from Texas in 2013. I think I moved back. And the first time I met Sarah was I took her Zumba class. She at the time was bouncing from different gyms and high school gyms and hosting different classes for fitness. And I remember taking her Zumba class. I was in the back. Um, but it was the first time that I got to see her in action. I will tell you, she is powerful. She is such a rock star. And to bring her on as a guest is just incredible. We had an amazing conversation, and so it is time for you guys to hear from her about pausing, about pivots, about life, and just lessons we've learned along the way to really help you grow as it comes to a new year of 2026. So let's dive into it. Well, welcome, Sarah, to the confident podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I mean, to think that in 2013, I took a Zumba class with no dance experience, just wanted a good workout, and you were my teacher. And here we are, what? We're on 13 years ago that I did that. And I've got to be able to have like a front row seat via social media, I would say, of seeing your business grow. And so I think that's also why I wanted you to come on the podcast because obviously we're talking about like pausing and pivots and change and just pressures in general. So, like, tell us like, why did you start your business? Tell us about your business and all the fun in between.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, thank you. I think that I would even just start with I in business, I've gotten so many things wrong. And then we see the highlights. So I've had some success, but only because I've gotten so many other things wrong. And so when I was, it started when I was 19. I mean, first just going back to my childhood. I was very active in dance, sports, athletics. I loved teams and I loved the feeling of being on the track team, the softball team, the basketball team. I liked the camaraderie and I liked the group aspect of that and the friendships that were built. And it gave me a really safe place to be in school. And in school, I was bullied a lot, actually. And so when I was on these teams, I had an excuse to go to practice and be with these people who are like-minded, who were growth-minded. And so it kind of started at a younger age, although I didn't realize that in hindsight until hindsight. But at 19 years old, I learned my mom had cancer and there was no cancer in her family. There was hardly any time. There's three months and we lost her. And that really was a big pivot moment for me. I had to grow up overnight and become a different person. And I did not know what to do with all of those emotions. So I took those emotions and I went back to the gym, a place where I knew I felt safe. And I just spent a lot of time there with no idea that I would evolve a business out of it. I just fell in love with fitness and the emotions that that brought and the endorphins and the state that it put me in. And I found that that was really the only time I felt good when I was doing that. So I focused a lot of time and energy there, and I had zero plans or belief that I would ever be a business owner. And so I think that's actually part of the nucleus of my success was that I did something I loved. I didn't do it for the money or the stability. I just started being myself and wanted to share then what I loved. And that evolved into wow, people, I want to work at a gym and people are gonna take my classes. And then I found my creativity and I brought dance back in the mix. And I had quite, you know, several years of building this following. And I thought, wow, maybe I should change my major, go into exercise science. And I originally was gonna be a PA.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

Then I thought two things. One, I have a really big following and this is going well. I never thought of it that way. And two, I don't know if I'll pass all the classes in chemistry. So uh I just kept doing what I love and it kept growing. And I I had zero plans. Even in 2012, when I built the gym, I built it as a bigger room for myself because I was renting out all these gyms. I was a mobile business. And I thought, wow, I just need my own space. I don't want a landlord anymore. I want to be able to control it, and I just need a big room so that I can change with the trends of fitness. And then I thought, wow, this is so big, I need some help. But really in the beginning, I had no, I had no idea or plan to be a business owner, to have a team, to be a leader. I learned those with some very hard lessons, like, oh wow, I need to be good at things other than fitness, other than health. So I did the gym and I really thought that was the top of the mountain. This is it. I have a successful gym. I've made it. This is my dream. I'm living it. And then the pandemic hit. And I oh the thing we don't talk about, right? Yes, exactly. I know. And um I'll I'll I'll share a little bit, ask questions where you need to, but the pandemic hit, and when the pandemic hit, it was another huge pivotal moment for me because when everything shut down, my every ounce of me shut down with it. And I didn't know who I was without the word fitness after my name. I didn't have an identity. I didn't have an identity outside of that, and it was a lot of awareness and it was a lot of heartbreak, and it was a lot of really tough moments where I had the first mirror in front of me to try to build a relationship with myself outside of fitness. I didn't have a life outside of it. And so that grew me more than anything else. And then my business evolved into an online business where I now have a team of coaches underneath me and we serve mostly women, but some men as well. And then I grew the podcast and I started that. And so now I'm just kind of open to where life takes me with no major boundaries around it. And I just want to keep the focus of doing what I love because that's what worked in the beginning.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that for you. And I have to go back to something that we do not talk about enough is bullying is still a thing. But like I did not realize how much I still would hold on to that for so long when I was in high school too. Like sports was my out, right? And I was with some uh students recently and I kept saying to them, like, yeah, I was bullied and they couldn't believe it. And I kept like having to remind them, like, yes, but like I didn't let it define me. I just had to move forward. And like, I mean, still I remember those moments, but I also remember the resilience and those pieces. So when I see kids still getting bullied today, it like breaks my heart because I know how that felt. Um, but it's also to your point, like, where's your safe place? And sports for me and for you, that was that was it. So that I think is just a pivotal moment in someone's life, right? And then to be 19 and go through what you went to through, um, and also saying to yourself, I've got to grow up. Like, yes, we are told once you, you know, leave high school, you're supposed to grow up, but but not many 19-year-olds are growing up yet, right? And so, what was the year that you um started your business? What year was that?

SPEAKER_00:

2005.

SPEAKER_01:

2005. So then it was 2012 when you got your first building. Yes.

unknown:

Wow.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I was on the run for a long time. I I would rent out multiple places and just I had a briefcase and I went place to place and you know, rented them out and I did my own personal fitness first. So then 2005, I got a business license and I tried to find anywhere with cheap rent or outdoors. Yeah. And just started building a following and then finally rented my first space about a thousand square feet, 1200 in 2008. Okay. And then I outgrew that and we were outdoors again. And then I started looking at buildings, and I think I thought, I don't know if I can move on in my life with the what if. What if I would have done it? And trust me, I understood the the risks. It was fitness in mid-Michigan. It was an enormous risk, uh, larger than what I even knew I was getting into. It was a it was a beast. And I thought, I'll figure it out as I go.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. It's that figure out mentality that I feel like entrepreneurs really have, right? And you shared earlier, like, okay, I've built a business. I didn't plan to build one, right? Like it's just kind of like fall into your lap, and I hear that a lot from entrepreneurs. So, what would be the biggest thing with business that you're like, if I could go back and tell someone or had someone hold my hand here, this is where I would have wanted that.

SPEAKER_00:

I I'm always I have always my entire life been a big fan of mentors and coaches. I've always had one in front of me, whether that be for competing, whether that be for business, whether that be spiritually, I have always had coaches in front of me. So that is, I think, key. But I would go back and probably start the business leadership coaching earlier. I learned through growing pains and getting so many things wrong. And I'm not somebody who likes to fail, but I don't like to fail other people. And I definitely made mistakes that allowed me the gift of awareness that I need to be better at relationships. First starting with myself and then for other people. And to be able to lead people, and that also meant growing them, to show them my vision, but for them to be able to see their vision within my vision so that they can grow too. And that took me too many years, I think, to learn. So I would probably start that earlier.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh man, you're like speaking into my soul. I feel that to the T. And that's something that's not talked about enough, right? Because you you have this vision in your brain of how things are gonna go. And I always say what I've learned along the way is my vision is very clear. The human error along the way, you can't plan for. I keep using human error, and it's not even like a bad human error. It's just I didn't think about that or that perspective or that person's emotions, or that I am going to need people and how I'm going to lead. How am I gonna manage? Like micro or am I gonna like be hands-off? And it's all of those things in between.

SPEAKER_00:

And learning that humans have their own perspective and their own experience based on their own upbringing and their own attachments and just learning how to grow different people. I mean, it's a skill, it takes practice every single day. It does. I still practice.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, totally. And I think that that's why I love being a coach, is because you know, I am a leadership and business coach, and because I can go back to say, like, yep, tried that. You can try it your way, just giving you some different perspective, or be able to be what someone didn't have when they were starting their business, or be that person that, hey, I'm ready to leave my business. Um, now I need the the pieces in place, right? That's what's really cool. So if you had to describe in a few words or a sentence your journey, what would you say?

SPEAKER_00:

I would say awareness and the sentence always be giving comes to me because I believe that building a business is building relationships one by one by one. I don't think that building a business is and for some people it may be, but for my experience, it's not about funnels and pyramids and um all the things that you can get wrapped up in. It's about relationships and it's about how you make people feel, and it's doing it one by one by one and being genuine about it. I think that's building a business.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that and the giving piece, right? I um I follow some, you know, pretty power power people when it comes to marketing and stuff. And one of them said, like, you know, our job is to be stewards, right? Into as our business and do the work that we're called to do. And I have that, I am a post-it girl in my office and I have that like written because you forget that sometimes, right? You get into the minutia of like, oh, someone's not happy, or oh, I'm gonna stay up till three. I'm thinking all of these things. And really at the end of the day, like, no, my job is to be a steward of this. And this is what I was called to do. And so even if you don't have a business listening to listeners, it's like, how are you being a steward of your skills, of your zone of genius, which I think is so powerful. There's no perfect time to focus on your health. There's just now. And for me, sustainable health has never been about doing everything perfect, it's about being consistent. And that's why AG1 has been part of my daily routine for years. Every single morning before coffee and before I start working, I mix one scoop of AG1 into water. 20 seconds. That's it. And it's been a microhabit that anchors everything that I do for my health. AG1 simplifies nutrition in a way that actually works. You get multivitamins, pre and probiotics, superfoods, all in one scoop. No piles of supplements and no overthinking. And their next gen formula is even better. They've added more vitamins and minerals than ever, all clinically approved to help fill common nutrition gaps. It's the opposite of complexity and exactly what consistency needs. And I'll say this clearly because it matters. I use this literally every single day, and so does my family. AG1 now comes in original, citrus, berry, and tropical. And honestly, original is still my favorite, but they are all great, and I would love for you to experience them. AG1 has more than 50,000 verified five-star reviews and comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee so that there's zero risk in trying. So go to drinkag1.com slash theconfident to get their best offer. For a limited time, you'll get a free AG1 duffel bag and a free AG1 welcome kit with your first subscription. Only while supplies last. So again, that's AG1.com slash theconfident.

SPEAKER_00:

And do you believe that part of coaching is it's not that we are getting everything right? And it's not that we are virtuous in all ways. Really, you just look at your life and you say, Where did I mess up? What lesson did I take away from that? And if I can help somebody who hasn't been in my shoes yet or is working their way up, we just share wisdom. So it's not because we have it all figured out by any means, and most often because, you know, we get a lot wrong.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly. Well, and I think like one of the differences, like with a little bit of the coaching too, is like, I just ask curious questions. I love that. I love that I think what I've been taught with at least uh the certifications is like we have the answers. It's just we need that person that's gonna ask the questions, you know. And I have a coach myself and I have a session. Today. And I already am ready. Like I'm working on right now is um assuming.

SPEAKER_02:

I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Like I have this, uh, I have this um feeling that like I'll make a thing and be like, well, I already know what they're gonna say. Or I'm assuming this is how they're gonna take it. And what my job as a leader and as a coach is to make sure that my people don't assume or I don't put assumptions on them. And so it's been funny how I coach with no assumptions, but in my real life, I assume and I make decisions because I'm trying like, well, this person might perceive it this way or this assume, and I'm making this assumption for them versus being true to who I am and just knowing, like, yeah, they will have something to say, but you can't control that.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh, so that's gonna be fun to have that conversation again just my coach.

SPEAKER_00:

I call that I I like the the assumption word. I I often will talk about it in a way that our brain writes stories, right? Writes stories about people, about things, about what somebody's gonna say or what they'll do. And and from a science perspective, I always think, oh, well, our brains are meant to survive. So if we see anything as a threat, we might assume, well, here's the protection is I already know this is gonna happen. So I'm just going to do this instead. But really, we don't know the answer.

SPEAKER_01:

I know. And why do we think we do? And also to your point, we go pat off past experiences. Absolutely. But like I keep telling like my clients and myself, like, you are not the same person you were 10 years ago. Like, you have more knowledge, you have more experience. You have a whole different support system. It's not the same. But we we allow those past judgments. I always say like the gremlin on our shoulder to like tell us the story, right? And so it's fascinating as we look at like even how we pause. Like we live in a world right now where we can scroll, we can get, you know, that instant like our brains are going a mile a minute. And sometimes progress is really hard to see right away. Doesn't there, right? You probably see that a lot with fitness, right? Right. And I was just talking to another leader, he's out of Nashville, and he was saying to me, you know, he he used the analogy of like getting to the gym. You know, that first week at the gym when like you're rocking it, you've lost that weight, you feel good. And then the next couple of weeks, it's really hard. He goes, That's what he was working on. Something he's like, that's what it felt like. He's like, but then the end was worth it. And I don't think a lot of us like to sit in that sock. So yeah, tell me about like any experiences you've had there.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, a couple things come to mind. One, delayed gratification. And I feel that it's an art, right? So it's like in today's world, with to your mention, everything's speeding up, everything. We are somehow the most efficient society we've ever been, but we're all time poor.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's a beautiful sentence.

SPEAKER_00:

We have we have everything at the push of a button, but somehow we don't have any time. And I try to coach in a way that even myself, the world is speeding up, and our brains are not meant to go that fast. So often when things become overwhelming, and that could be in the fitness world, it could be in any aspect, and we start, oh my gosh, we start speeding up ourselves. The world isn't speeding up, our brain is speeding up. So if you take a moment to go inside and just kind of shut down the noise for a second, another thing that I try to do with my coaching clients is practice something called AMB, always measure backwards. So measuring how far we've come versus how far we have to go. And that came from a book. I can't take credit from it.

SPEAKER_01:

Hey, I love it.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But uh, I try to keep that in mind. And even it's a daily reminder for me because this world is going fast and we are losing the present moment often if you're not aware of it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Well, even the whole time we've been chatting, I shouldn't be wearing my Apple Watch. You know how many times that thing has gone off? And the whole time I'm thinking, Lisa, someone's trying to get a hold of you. And but that's how it works, right? But then you don't want to pull your attention away and be like, hold on, let's just stop this podcast for a second. I need to check that. When it could literally be like a shopping app going on. Think about it.

SPEAKER_00:

When we grew up, I mean, my parents would send me with a pop skull and say, Hey, come home when the lights come on in the evening. And we didn't have all this.

SPEAKER_01:

No.

SPEAKER_00:

And I know the world was different. It wasn't as safe, but a lot of notifications everywhere.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. And we like think about even raising our son right now, and we're like, he loves to be outside. And we're like, yes, hopefully that like stays forever. And we like, we're trying to be very conscious of like when he comes home from daycare during um at night, when we have time, it's like, are you on your phone? Now I'm not gonna say we're perfect, right? But like I think it's those moments of I think I'm seeing a shift of people wanting the presence more and more. I'm also seeing it where people are like, I don't know how to be present. And that's gonna be another pivotal shift, I think, too. But you know, back to your thing about instant the delay of gratification. Um, that's tough. It is. That's really tough. And I look, I think I I look at these, you know, people that have made it and I'm like, oh, but like, look at them. And someone the other day, I was working on a project, and they're like, you do know that Mel Robbins was doing that for like ever before. And I was like, Yeah, you know, you just forget those things, you know? And like look at like your journey. I mean, what you said 2005.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's a long time. A long time.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm aware of that. Yeah. In a good way, like in a beautiful way. Yeah. It's and you know, it's all the all the reps and all the seasoning that makes us. And it, I remember being 22 years old and looking at somebody in their 40s thinking, man, I want that and I want it now. I want to microwave it. How can how can I get that and get it fast? But you can't fast pace experience and the wisdom that comes with it. It's a gift. And I think that delayed gratification, it's like allowing yourself to sit in the discomfort of not having it now. And what can you learn about yourself during that time? It's difficult to do. It's a challenge.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's like sitting and like like the word pausing and like thinking about like, I know I need to make a change or I know I need to make a pivot, but like I don't have the answers, you know? And I think that that's what I've really realized with my life is like you can feel it coming, but you it's not clear yet. And you're like, come on, God, spirit, whatever. Just give it to me, right? I need a green light. I'll ask for the green light. And then I think sometimes we have a joke in our household of like, did he give me the green light or did I just like not see it? Yes, you know? Did I miss it? And then like sitting with those pieces and knowing like it will come to me when it's ready to.

SPEAKER_00:

And when you're ready to receive it. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yes, very much so, right? And and do something with it. And I think I've had to get better at those pieces. I also think you said something earlier about like where you are now in your career. And you're like, I'm kind of just like open to what comes. And I think I didn't realize that for a long time because I knew I want to launch this and I want to do this. And like then I did it all, and I was like, okay, I didn't, I went too fast. I didn't enjoy the process. And have you ever, yeah, yeah. Tell us about that, how that showed up for you.

SPEAKER_00:

I can relate to that a ton of times. One that is quite clear is it was really fun and it was a lot of energy when I was building my business and it was fitness only. From the time I was 26 to 38 years old. I mean, it was just crowds and music and DJs, and I had so much I wanted to do and so much I wanted to accomplish, and I was moving so fast. I often look back and have learned the tough lesson of not being present and smelling the roses. And I can take myself back to the moment of jumping on a stage with 500 people in front of me wearing my clothes and you know, wanting my fitness. And I just remember a very anxiety-driven what's next mindset. And so there's there's some regret there, hard lessons learned. But I have I have quite a few of those moments where it's if we let the fear creep in, then anxiety can build and it takes us away from that present moment. So again, going back to the trust of I'm going to do this in my time, trust the timing of my life and what's right for me and what's not right, what's not right for me. There's a long time where I felt like I had to say yes to everything, uh, you know, and every person. And you can lose yourself doing that.

unknown:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's tough.

SPEAKER_00:

It is.

SPEAKER_01:

And the boundaries. I feel like I've had a lot of conversations lately about boundaries. And I'll hear some of them like, but is that a boundary or are you just, you know, are you just letting this one slide? And like, you know, and so I think it's even too like being able to hold people accountable for their boundaries and being held accountable for yours. Yeah. Right. Like I'm very blessed. I have a husband who holds me accountable for those things. And, you know, one of kind of going backwards to what you said about like being in the present moment. It was probably like two weeks ago. We were sitting on the couch, you know, 9 p.m. at night. I got my laptop, laptop out, and I'm working on something. And he's like, you know, you've worked a lot of late nights lately. I'm like, yeah, but like I, it's in my brain. I got to get this across the finish line. He's like, but I thought we made a deal that we were gonna have less of this. He wasn't wrong. I love what I do too, right? Like I see, I got both sides. It's tough. But I also think one of the things he's really challenged me to do, and I've challenged myself, but I I I definitely need someone else to help me with this, is slow down.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Because I'm going to accomplish those things. It doesn't have to be tomorrow night.

SPEAKER_00:

Were you like that as a child?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. I I think it's funny how my brain never turned off looking back, and I've always had more than two jobs. I've never had one thing.

SPEAKER_00:

I can relate. Yeah. I can hear my mom saying, Sarah, slow down. Even brushing my teeth. I was doing it fast, man.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, how much can I accomplish in a day, right? And I think that that is so fascinating. Because in one of my keynotes, I literally bring someone someone on stage and we practice what multitasking actually looks like to the brain. And I make them pat their head, um, you know, counterclockwise, rub their stomach, stand on one foot, and then count.

SPEAKER_00:

That's powerful.

SPEAKER_01:

Our brains can't do that. No, right? And so, and so it's just a visualization of like, yeah, we say that we can multitask, but showing someone that visual is like, oh, I mean, you can, but the padding kind of got a little less as they were trying to like maneuver and you can't do everything very well.

SPEAKER_00:

Like 10% to each area.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. And that is something that I probably what you feel, even just like growing up, is like I went so fast that then you go back and you're like, oh yeah, I see that error. Or, oh, I see how I made someone feel. Um and trying to figure that out, I would still say I'm still figuring that piece out.

SPEAKER_00:

Me too. Every day. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. How what do you think is different from 10 years ago to now?

SPEAKER_00:

Awareness around it. Okay. That's okay. So in in even when I hear boundaries, I'm boundaries isn't everyday for me too. And I'm thinking about it. And sometimes I have to, because we've gotten into this era as well where boundaries, I also see, is that a boundary or is that avoidance? And so, you know, I again, I don't have it all figured out, but I would say that the effort and the awareness to be present about it, to have the awareness to make a different decision in the moment is an everyday practice for me right now. Yeah. And sometimes I get it right and often I get it wrong. And then you just, it takes me less time. If I got it wrong before, maybe I was wrong for two or I didn't notice for two or three weeks, maybe months, maybe years in the past. But now I've I think I've got it trickled down to hours now, or maybe sometimes minutes. I love it.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and I think it's decisiveness. It's like showing up differently. And also, I don't know about you, but I also have a different, I have a I've always had great support systems, but I think now my support systems just know what I need in the moment and are just honest with me.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. You gotta have those people around you.

SPEAKER_01:

Totally, you know. And I was just talking to my mom, I was like, Am I overthinking this? She's like, Yeah. And I'm like, okay, I knew you'd tell me if I was. And she's like, Yeah, you would never tell your client to do that. And I was like, fair, fair point, right? So obviously, when we are making shifts and changes into our lives, our bodies are also telling us something. Fight or flight, we talked a little bit about earlier. So, what do you think is like a noticeable thing, maybe for you or for your clients, of like, I know I need to make a shift. This is what my body's telling me, even though I'm not there yet mentally.

SPEAKER_00:

I would say that I notice physical changes in myself. I will, I will even just take my midset and I'll just I just pull it in. I'm a little bit tighter everywhere. So like my fascia becomes tighter and my temperature rises a little bit, and my heart moves a little bit faster. And I even notice my my eyes will go a few more different places. And so I've learned that in my 40s, like the physical change, and I can feel that change now when I'm in an environment, when I'm around people. I just pay more attention to how I feel. And that's been powerful. Again, I don't always get it right, but it's helpful. I would say that slowing down the brain for the mental aspect of it and having good people around you to say, hey, maybe you should take a second, or I think in my 30s I was surrounded by a lot of yes people. And yes, because maybe they wanted to see me win, but also because they were gaining from it as well. And of course, the e that feels great to the ego, too. Right. I mean, who doesn't want everybody saying, yeah, you're awesome?

SPEAKER_01:

Totally. Yeah. Our egos love that stuff. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So it's just imperfectly trying to pay attention again, always coming back to that pause or that that present moment. And it might sound very redundant, but it's one of the most difficult things to actually do.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Feel all of that, right? Well, and you're making me think too. I think like our bodies tell us things. I also think, you know, how many times have I probably said to myself, like, I know I need to make a change. I started on my own, and then it kind of fails. And I'm sure you see that with like your clients and stuff. So what do you think is the shift of like, I'm finally going to do it?

SPEAKER_00:

I think a couple of things. One, I think there's rock bottom of being sick and tired, fed up of something. It could be a habit, it could be an environment, a relationship, a pattern. I think there's rock bottom, and I think there's hovering rock bottom. And I think hovering rock bottom is when you're, if you're waking up every day and you just don't feel great, I don't have a good attitude. You might be hovering rock bottom, where really if you just hit the bottom, at least now you have a place to pivot. And I would say that hovering rock bottom and going back to I would say the oh, that's a tough one. I might take a little time to think about that one. That's tough. I would say hovering rock bottom and then I think I've gotten to a pl a couple times where I didn't even like who I was anymore. I didn't like myself.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And it that didn't feel aligned. And I think when there's a lot of misalignment, you will either continue to live in that, which doesn't feel great, or you make a change. And I think that making a change starts with your state of what your emotional state, and your state will drive your behaviors, and your behaviors drive your habit, and that drives your identity and it drives your outcome. So a lot of women will come in and they'll say, I want to lose 10 pounds. I want to feel healthier. Maybe I want to get my blood sugar under control, whatever the goal is, the outcome. But I say, okay, and I listen to them because we all have to, we love goals, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But to get there, first I have to know what what mental state are you in and what are your behaviors and your habits? Because that's driving your identity. And if you don't identify as a healthier person, if you don't identify as somebody who wakes up and takes care of their health, you might be able to get that outcome, but you won't be able to sustain it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Because you have to, it's an identity shift. And I often find in coaching health and fitness and nutrition, they don't want the identity conversation. They're like, Sarah, what are you talking about? I want to lose 10 pounds. Tell me how to do that and I can give you the steps. But if you check the boxes and complete the steps, you might get a short outcome, but it's temporary because you have to, instead of thinking about fitness or your goals, like a chess checklist to achieve, it's got to be a person you become.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Or you will, you'll sign back up next year and repeat the process over and over.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And how many times have we all said, let's start on Monday? Oh. Right. I think back to like college and like I used to use, like, I was a bit, I still am a big runner, but I used to be a big one. And I remember my friend saying to me, like, I feel like you're kind of overkilling it on the fitness and stuff, because I think I was using that as an outlet for burnout. I also was like, if I just run seven more miles, this will fix my problem. And also I'll get skinny, right? Like we have like and then once you like get through all of that, you're like, oh, there's a healthier side to all of this. And it goes back to like confidence and loving yourself and those identity shifts that you said. And like I, when you were saying rock bottom, I was literally picturing the moments in my life where I've hit rock bottom and I hated every minute of it, right? Um, but it's the only way that I listened.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And now I think I'm in a in a stage of my life where now I'm able to notice like, you go that way, you're gonna go back down, right? You did not like yourself then. So what do you need to shift? I think the other thing that you brought up too is sometimes you just don't know yourself. And until you go through things or um, I even think about like uh 2019. I remember I had a very playful, uh no, it was not 2019, 2021. That was wrong. It was a very playful summer for me. Oh, fun. And I just lived my best life. I had the most clients I've ever had. And I remember them getting serious a year later, like different, like, okay, I'm gonna zone in on this. And I I did not have as much fun. And I was just talking to the girl that I used to own a business with, and I said, Remember that summer? And she's like, Yeah, I'm like, I miss her. And that's what 2026 is for me is like, how do I bring back that girl that I miss? Because sometimes we have to lose that in order to shift back. Like, and it comes with like healthy and fitness and just like life in general.

SPEAKER_00:

I I love that you mentioned when you had that fun summer, how productive and how things kind of flowed and came easy for you. Because when we grip that steering wheel, I often find if I go on vacation for five days, like how are all these inquiries coming in all of a sudden? Right. It's like you release and you just attract rather than chase it and grip it, right? Yeah. So I love that you mentioned that because productivity and whether it be inquiries or business of any sort, it picks up when you let go.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Rather than grip it tight.

SPEAKER_01:

100%. And I like I have a new keynote coming out where I talk about like letting go of control or letting go of comfort first and then like letting go of control. And one of my friends and I were just talking about this of like control. He's like, but I'm not type A. And I said, But do you have a project at work where you're like, if someone touches this? And he goes, Yeah, I said, You don't have to be type A for that. You just like that is yours. And like you have to release that and let go of that to see what it can go to, right? And every time I've let go, it's been like, should have done that earlier, right? It's those types of pieces. Uh okay, so I'm gonna do some round table questions to kind of like close out today. So if you had to think about, we teach a lot on here about like zone of genius. That's like my my jam. So if you could spend eight hours doing some something for work that brings you joy, what would be that one thing?

SPEAKER_00:

It would be creative content. Ooh, it would be creative content, whether that be in a physical fitness, dancey kind of way or an entertainment or an education kind of way. Because I feel that that's where I connect with the most people. And when I am just in that light, everything else follows. So it wouldn't be books and checklists. And it it wouldn't be isolation and work. It would be connecting.

SPEAKER_01:

People. Oh, I love that. Okay. What's a life lesson? What's a lesson life keeps handing you until you finally learned it?

SPEAKER_00:

Only one?

SPEAKER_01:

You got a few, I'll take them.

SPEAKER_00:

A life lesson life keeps handing me until I have learned it. Let go.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh.

SPEAKER_00:

Have fun. It's so funny because I've had all these mentors. And last summer I went on a vacation with my niece, who was 20 at the time. And she said something so simple and it was genius. She said, It's not that serious. And I have carried that sentence, all the mentorships I have ever paid for and invested in. It's not that serious. You know, you let go and just everything gets better. Yeah. And then you get what's meant to be yours and you bypass things that are not supposed to be yours.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that's another post-it going on my wall. I like it. Um, what's a book or podcast you are currently reading or listening to?

SPEAKER_00:

A book I'm currently reading, I'm not far in, I'm two chapters, but it's called The Measure. And it was given to me by a friend. Me neither. And I typically am in the self-development area. And this book is, I'll keep this short, but it's it's a everyone in the world has a box dropped off on their porch, and the box has a string in it. And they have learned over time, many months of research, that the string represents how much life you have. And so there are couples and friendships, and somebody has a long string and somebody has a short string. And I don't know where it's gonna go, but I have this feeling what would we do with life? What would your everyday look like if you knew how much time you really had left? And so I don't know if that's the ending. Oh, but I love that. I will keep you posted.

SPEAKER_01:

I will literally say, so I have meetings till 9 30 tonight p.m. And I literally, as you said that, I was like, I would have I would be home for bathtime.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, there it is.

SPEAKER_01:

Fascinating. Right, right. When you said that, I was like, ooh, I'd be home for bathtime. I wouldn't be missing my time with my kid for meetings, but we'll work on that. All right. Um, what is uh uh advice that you would give someone?

SPEAKER_00:

This is a popular question, and I could probably fill an entire podcast with it out of the things I have gotten wrong. But the advice would be, you know, for yourself to be your best self. I always be giving, always measure backwards and to show up and trust the timing of your life, as simple as that is, because anything else, I just feel the word misalignment. And when things are misaligned, it feels uphill, it feels tough. You can do something that you love and it doesn't feel right, and try to show up and give without expectation. And it for me helps me control my emotions a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, then the last most important question is what's your walk-up song?

SPEAKER_00:

My walk-up song, first of all, this has probably changed over the years because in my 30s, it probably would have been pretty, you know, a very different look. Today it would be God, I'm just grateful for you by Elevation Worship. And I am so a person now, not always, but now I pay attention to how things make me feel. And so that may not be the most popular song to somebody else, but the emotional state it brings me to, it's it's number one.

SPEAKER_01:

Isn't that amazing?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like one of those songs where I have to put on repeat. It might be my walk-up song, but I'm it's on repeat and I know every word. Or I'm looking up the lyrics, so I know every word, right? I love it.

SPEAKER_00:

And I'm I'm strutting out to that song.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. I can like picture that right now for you. Awesome. Well, thank you, Sarah, so much for being on the podcast. Literally love chatting with you. We probably could have done a whole nother episode. Thank you, Sarah. Um, but thank you for that wisdom and just like being real. I think that that's like one of the things that I love about business and leadership and confidence in general is the more we can be real, imagine what the world could look like.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. I appreciate you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, thank you so much for tuning into today's episode of the Confident Podcast. I love talking to Sarah about all of the amazing things she's up to, her journey as an entrepreneur, all the way back to some of the high school things that um really changed how she grew up and her beliefs and where she is today. I think one of the most powerful things that came out of it was hey, I'm not alone. I can feel those things too. But also knowing that as humans, we're going to pivot, we're going to change, we're going to grow. And that is okay. And that is the point. You know, I've shared many times, just, you know, on my socials in general, that this is the year I'm coming home to myself. And I'm really excited to keep going that way. So if you like this episode, please tell me. Let me know what you took away from my conversation with Sarah. I love hearing from all of you that are listening. And I'm excited for what the years the year will bring us. So, as I say it at the end of every podcast, continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet and have a great day. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Confident Podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear about it. So send me a message at podcast.lisa Turkington.com. Don't forget, while you're there, to subscribe to our newsletter, subscribe to our YouTube channel. And don't forget to spread the good by sharing this with someone in your life. Remember, you have the power to choose confidence every single day. Keep showing up, keep striving, and keep believing in your potential. I'm cheering you on, and I'll see you next time.

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Lisa Tarkington

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