The Confident Podcast

EP 198 | From $400 to Self-Made: Jenna Banks on Breaking Free, Betting on Herself, and Choosing Self-Love

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Could you imagine starting your journey to success with just $400 into your business? Meet Jenna Banks, an inspiring entrepreneur who transformed her challenging upbringing into a remarkable tale of perseverance and triumph. Raised in a strict household, Jenna made a courageous decision at the age of 14 to seek a better life, a choice that set her on a path to becoming a bestselling author and successful businesswoman. Jenna's story is a testament to the power of self-belief and trusting one’s inner voice, and she shares her wisdom in her book "I Love Me More."

  • 0:00: Jenna Banks on Breaking Free
  • 10:36: Overcoming Adversity and Pursuing Success
  • 16:31: Taking a Leap
  • 25:45: Navigating Personal Growth
  • 31:33: Letting Go of Perfectionism
  • 35:16: Scaling a Business and Seizing Opportunities
  • 40:48: Embracing Self-Love and Personal Growth

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Speaker 1:

You might not know what you're doing in the beginning, but that's okay. Your confidence is going to pull people in and they're going to have faith in you. Confidence is really important and I know you talk a lot about confidence, lisa, but confidence has been what's driven my career from the very beginning.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the Confident Podcast.

Speaker 2:

I am Lisa Tarkington, your guide to mastering confidence and leadership. As the business and life coach, keynote speaker and the driving force behind LEAD, I am here to help you break free from self-doubt, silence the imposter syndrome and step into your power as the person you're meant to be. If you press play today, it's because you're ready for something bigger. Each week, I'll bring you real, raw conversations and actionable insights that will empower you to redefine your leadership, reclaim your confidence and transform into the unstoppable force you've always known that you could be. This isn't just another podcast. It's a journey we're on together, so buckle up and let's dive into this transformation. Your next level awaits. Hi everybody, welcome back for another episode of the Confident Podcast. I am your host, lisa Tarkington, and today is going to be pretty amazing. We are going to be talking to Jenna Banks. She has been on the podcast before. She is amazing. And we're going to be talking about breaking free, being yourself, betting on yourself, and how she went from investing $400 into her business to being self-made, to selling one of her first businesses, to just being an amazing author now. And our conversation is pretty amazing because Jenna shares her story. She shares her story about being 14 and leaving her home, her dad's home, for the first time, moving in at 16 with her mom and then from there, just a trajectory of different life decisions that led her to the Netherlands at the age of 19, to rocking it in the corporate world, to leaving those, to selling her business for half a million dollars and then becoming an author, and I cannot wait for you to learn more about her book. It's I Love Me More. She's a bestselling author and just a little bit about Jenna. So she's a keynote speaker, bestselling author of I Love Me More. That went viral on TikTok. It's pretty cool to see Love Me More. That went viral on TikTok. It's pretty cool to see.

Speaker 2:

She's the host of the Jenna Banks show and she has been seen on Forbes, abc, nbc and CEO World Magazine. She loves to help women, she loves to help men, she loves to help people just understand that they can excel in leadership roles and be more authentic to themselves. So let's dive into this conversation because I don't want to miss another beat, so let's get into it. Well, welcome, jenna, to the Confident Podcast. I'm so happy to have you. Thank you, I'm excited to be here today. It's been what? Probably four years, since you've been on the podcast. Wow, has it been that long? Maybe I'm exaggerating, but maybe 2021? Yeah, yeah, something like that. Yeah, yeah, crazy, wow, wow.

Speaker 2:

And so much has happened right In your life, in my life, and I will actually put the show that Jenna was on in the show notes for everybody. But we're excited to have you back. We're gonna be talking about something completely different than what we did before, which is how you went from $400 to being self-made and to like all of the things that you've gone through to get to where you are today. So I'm excited to hear your story. I know the audience is, so we're just gonna dive right in.

Speaker 1:

So-.

Speaker 2:

Let's so. First question take us back to your childhood, and I read that you left your home at the age of 14. So tell us what was the courage that it was to take that step like? Take us back to that moment.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, to give you insight into what it took to leave, I have to let you know a little bit about some of the you know the adversity that I had to overcome at the time, so, or the adversity I was dealing with. So I was raised in a very strict religious home. I was the oldest of five kids. I was the only child from the first marriage, so kind of maybe a little bit of the black sheep, if you will, but you know so it was a lot of oppression. We were really harshly punished for doing things that most kids got to do, like watching Scooby-Doo cartoons because of the supposed demonic ghosts in it, right. Or eating candy because candy wasn't allowed, we weren't allowed to have sugar, fighting with my brother, all of the normal stuff that most kids do, right.

Speaker 1:

So it was just constant oppression and I'd have to sit in my room for hours at a time reading the Bible, and during those times I would just think, god, life has to be better than this.

Speaker 1:

I really just didn't find any joy in life and I just kept wondering how could life be different? What's on the other side? And one day my father comes home to punish me for one of those types of things that most kids do, this burning feeling inside of me, and I tried my best in the book to write about that feeling, because I think it's really important to understand those feelings in our body that are guiding us into a different direction for ourselves, outside of what we know, outside of our comfort zone even if the comfort zone is toxic, abusive, all those things it still is comfortable, which is strange to think about. So I just felt all this fear, but also kind of like excitement, thinking what you know, I'm going to say something that's going to change things. I'm going to confront my father and tell him I don't want to be here anymore. The thought of doing that was super scary, right, it's scary for adults and you were 14.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. And he's like, well, what would you do? Or would you run away? And I was. I hadn't thought about it, but I was like, yes, right. And so then he had to really think, wow, okay, I said, look, I want to. I want to live with my mother.

Speaker 1:

Now I didn't know if that was an option. I saw her once a year, talked to her on the phone once a year. I hadn't lived with her since I was a baby, but I had hoped it was an option and thankfully well, thankfully, but not so thankfully she said yes, that's fine if she comes to live with me. Now that was a whole nother ball of wax when I went to go live with her, but I was excited to have the change. But it's also scary when you're 14 years old. Basically, I had no guidance when I went to live with her, no parental figure at all. It was come and go as you please, no mother-daughter check-ins. I slept on the couch. I cried myself to sleep most nights because it was a very toxic environment, and so that was. It just opened up a whole nother bunch of issues. But I'm still very happy to this day that I took that chance on myself, because that just was the beginning of my self-love journey.

Speaker 2:

Yeah Well, even hearing that, like I commend you for that, because it's like you saw that there could have been another life, or you imagine that there could have been. And while maybe the next piece wasn't like tremendously overloaded happiness, it was better than where you were, and so you were able to make those stepping stones a little bit. And so obviously, when you were living with your mom, you said like you still had challenges and stuff. So how did you, like take us in just your teenage years, how did you navigate those? What were you facing during that time? Especially because you know you said like, yeah, maybe you had, you were living at your mom's, but you were kind of on your own or you were on your own. Honestly, I was.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there was a lot more adversity I had to face. I'd come home sometimes and the locks would be changed to the doors. I had nowhere to go and she'd be mad at me about something, and maybe there were too many messages on the voicemail machine or something like that, and so this was before the days of cell phones. So I had no one to call, nowhere to go, so I'd have to stay with friends, guys who were way too old for me, who were interested in me, and now I had to beg for a place to stay. So that was fun. I had to support myself.

Speaker 1:

I worked a job while I was in high school barely went to high school. Now, thankfully, I had a Christian school education, so I worked at my own pace when I was younger and was pretty far ahead. I was almost at like an 11th grade level at ninth grade. So I didn't go to school that much, to be honest with you, because I was focused on trying to survive, and so it was tough. It was really rough. I left her home at the age of 16, the last time she locked me out. Some neighbors felt sorry for me and I ended up moving away with them an hour away and that didn't work out.

Speaker 1:

I ended up staying with my grandparents for a short time, became suicidal, and I think that started when I was late, 16, 17, somewhere around there and at that point I was definitely suicidal and made a few attempts, ended up in the hospital in a coma. I almost was successful, but I got through it. And then my life changed when I ended up meeting a guy from the Netherlands who was on an exchange program at the University in Florida and ended up getting pregnant, and so we ended up getting married. I moved to Holland when I was 19. And that totally changed my life. Everything changed.

Speaker 1:

I was, you know, honestly, lisa, I was completely numb, personally, after having gone through what I experienced from 14 to 16, 17. It was pretty numbing for me. I had to, I think, in order to protect myself. But I was very numb, and that was part of why I became suicidal is, I couldn't feel anything, you know, and it was like what's the point of living? And um? But once I had my got pregnant with my son, my hormones just changed everything and I could feel again, and that just started a whole new avenue for my life.

Speaker 2:

Wow, that's a lot to unpack, jenna Like. I am like knowing where you are today, Like I am so proud of you, you know for like just like continuous, and I know the audience will be hearing more about that story here in a second. So lots happened in your teenage years, more than most teenagers go through on a daily basis. Right, yeah, but you'd be surprised.

Speaker 1:

I think a lot of people go through this. They don't just don't talk about it. It's not something that people share. In fact, it's something I, before I wrote my book. I wrote that I really didn't share with many people, only like somebody I was dating or very, very close to maybe. But you know, it's something that's been very interesting to talk about on a more regular basis since I've written my book and started speaking on stages.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, yeah, well, and like to your point, like it is more common. It's also one of those things when you look at like the social media filters, you see the kids playing, you see the kids going on extravagant trips and things like that. You're not seeing the day to day of what kids are actually going through.

Speaker 2:

Right, and you went through it you know, our childhoods were very different from each other and you've accomplished so much from just, I would say, adversity, figuring out the trauma piece, and then for being 19, having your son moving, you moved like getting married. So take us to being 19, when it actually changed. You said it was your hormones. So then, what was the things then that you started to put into place, to like be like all right, my suicidal thoughts, all this past, all these things like I can't live this way anymore? What did you start to do to make that shift?

Speaker 1:

I just didn't feel that way anymore. For the most part, I'm thinking back. You know, it's not like it never came up again. For the most part I'm thinking back. You know, it's not like it never came up again. I think if you have those kind of depressive tendencies which I didn't have only through that time, but it did happen again, maybe a couple more times, the thoughts, but I never acted on it, and I think that's pretty common as well. People just don't talk about it. But you know it's something that I did have to work through. But I started feeling more emotional, connected. My son was grounding me. Obviously, when you have a child to care for, you know, you, I feel I felt this enormous sense of responsibility, and so that's very grounding and that's what I needed was the grounding.

Speaker 1:

Also, I was living in another country, in the Netherlands, which was kind of exciting at the time, learning another language, learning another culture. That kept me stimulated. I wasn't working for the first year, but then I started working a little bit there as well. So it just kind of got me out of what I was going through. And I had a husband and things were very different at that time.

Speaker 1:

But, believe you me. I learned to appreciate what we had in the US and I learned that I had this entrepreneurial nature in me. I was appreciative of the opportunities that we have in this country, which just did not exist over there. And I started to see the comparison and thought, wow, you know, when I get back to the USS, I'm really going to. Just, you know, I don't have an education at this point. Right, I've got a GED for my highest level of education. I did get my GED, thankfully, but I barely went to high school. So I was like you know what? I'm not going to let that stop me. When we get back, I'm going to have a great career and thankfully I did.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so take us there. So you said that you came back to the States. So how long were you in the Netherlands? And then you came back to the States and then, kind of like, tell us a little bit about that journey of going from. I had a GED, I needed to make a life, I had this entrepreneur mindset, so like what was the first job, or maybe like a few, that you had when you came back to the States?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I know. So I was 22 when I got back and the first job that I got when I got back was at a factory manufacturing facility for apparel. So we went to Los Angeles and that's where I lived for I don't know 20 years or so, and yeah, and apparel is a big deal over there. So I went to work for a company and started off as the assistant to the president and wow, was that amazing experience because, as his right hand, he saw the potential in me and, by the way, I pursued that job heavily. And I want to back up a second, because there is something my father taught me as a 14-year-old when I went to go get my first job I was underage, I didn't know I was underage, I wanted to work and get out of the house right, and so he taught me you know what? You can get any job you want. You just need to look them in the eye, feel confident, shake their hand firmly and just feel confident in your ability to get the job done. So I did that. I took that advice. It was my first interview ever and I got that job even though I was underage, and that man ended up getting fired later for hiring underage people when he shouldn't have, but that's a whole other issue. But I got the job and that reinforced that neural pathway for me that hey, I can go for it and get it, even if I'm not qualified, even if I don't have the experience.

Speaker 1:

So fast forward to 22,. Going for this job. They wanted a four-year degree and I did not let that stop me. It was a job I really wanted and I did. I still use that same technique, you know, maybe not to this day, because I haven't worked in corporate for since 2012. But I did that same thing. I shook his hand, looked him in the eye, I was very persistent in trying to get this job and he eventually gave me the interview and I knew once I could get that interview, I'd get that job and I did. And then he saw the potential in me and really groomed me to be a good right hand for him. So I learned all about business through this first employer, but I usually worked it for, you know, medium sized companies where I could work closely to the CEO, where I could just learn and grow.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I love that and I love that you. You know you have this entrepreneur spirit Like I know that about you. You also learn that at a very young age, right Like I have to figure it out Like that's. That's what I think entrepreneurship is supposed to do Figuring it out right Like totally, and you had this bug. So then you went to work at the factory. You know, you were working with the CEO as his assistant, and then I've also, like you've, had other business development roles, correct?

Speaker 1:

Yep. So there I got to spread my wings and try all different areas. You know I managed production over there for a while. Then I saw an opportunity, actually in sales at that company and with the movie industry and I said, hey, there's a, I feel like we can pursue this area of business and grow our business and get away from, like, the garment industry and more into corporate. And sure enough, we ended up doing custom apparel for the movie studios because I wanted to pursue it and got our first client, which was Sony Pictures Entertainment.

Speaker 1:

And you know, again, that's just me being entrepreneurial saying, hey, you know what, let's give it a try, let's give it a go, why not? And that, just that, you know, starting my career with that kind of a mindset really helped out a lot. It's like, look, you don't have to know everything, but if you get the creative inspiration, give it a try. You know you try it like go full force, be confident in your ability to get the job done. You might not know what you're doing in the beginning, but that's okay. Your confidence is going to pull people in and they're going to have faith in you. Confidence is really important and I know you talk a lot about confidence, Lisa, but confidence has been what's driven my career from the very beginning.

Speaker 2:

I love that Well, and I can see it, I hear it in your voice of how, every step that you've taken, you've had to be confident in yourself because, at the end of the day, like like no one else was going to do it for you.

Speaker 2:

Right, like I think sometimes it's very easy to be like, well, I have all these degrees or I have all these things, like that's great on paper, but then what are you going to do about it?

Speaker 2:

You actually did everything with action, and I think that that's the other piece. I've been talking a lot about that on the podcast, because it's very easy to get caught up in the plans and all of these things, but it's like, just go do it, just go try it, just go and figure it out, and if you fail or you fall backwards for a second, you're going to move forward, you know, and obviously all of that. So we have very similar backgrounds in that we both were in corporate and then we took the leap. So, like, take us to that moment. You're like, okay, I'm gonna do it. I am gonna go out on my own after learning all of the experiences that you have. Because, from what you're saying to me is, you had a very successful career. You didn't have quote unquote, from what I'm hearing a reason to leave because you were going to keep moving up the ladder. So, like, why'd you leave?

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So what you're talking about is the last stint I had in corporate. So I was the director of business development for a great company. I had been with them for a long time was making really good money. I mean a nice full six-figure income in my 20s. I think I may have gone.

Speaker 1:

When I left I was like maybe in my early 30s, but for somebody who didn't have a degree and managed people with master's degrees, it was a very interesting place to be. But I was doing well at the job and making them a lot of money, making myself a lot of money. But at that time I was comfortable and I had been comfortable for a while. But I was stagnant and I had been feeling. My intuition had been feeling like you know, this is not for you anymore, but it was stupid to think of leaving. I had a great retirement plan, great benefits. There was no reason to leave. But inside of me I knew my growth had been stagnant. I could literally just go to work and sit there and I had laid out a path for that job that I was doing, that I really didn't have to do much. So it wasn't very challenging. And when I get to this place where I'm not making the right moves for myself, the universe steps in every time and pushes me out the door. And I believe it 100%. I really believe in going with the flow of the universe, and when I don't stick with it, when I'm in resistance with the universe, the universe steps in and creates some kind of havoc that changes the trajectory of my life. And so that's exactly what happened. There was some havoc that happened at work and it was just pretty jarring and it made me rethink that job entirely and I was like you know what? It's time for me to go. And so I handed in my resignation and it felt right.

Speaker 1:

And again I talk about that feeling, I write about that in my book. A lot is like trusting that feeling that's in your body. It's totally leading you in the right direction. Whether it's an impulse to call somebody, an impulse to some kind of business idea that you have some kind of collaboration you'd like to do. We get those impulses often and then we just let them sit there and then it fizzles. But those impulses are there to guide us, and so that feeling that I had when I wrote that resignation letter told me everything I needed to know. It felt great, I felt elated. I felt like, wow, the possibilities. I felt the possibilities again, which I hadn't been feeling that in a while. So I was like, okay, this is what I'm going to do. And I handed it in. And it felt great to hand it in.

Speaker 1:

Now I'll be honest with you, lisa after I resigned and I left that company on great terms helped find my replacement and everything. Now I had like a month and the first week or so was great, and then reality started to sit in. I'm like, oh crap, no, what am I going to do? And it's scary, right. Even if you've been through so many situations like I had been through in my life where I could take a risk on myself and believe in myself and it always always worked out fine, I can't tell you that you won't feel scared. It will happen. But you have to trust in yourself and just let let that feeling kind of be there and just then start to.

Speaker 1:

You know I started to go, okay, what? What did I enjoy doing in the past? Let's focus on that. And then I thought you know what? Let's just let's focus on that. And then I thought, you know what? Let's just let's create my own job. Let's do my own thing, let's try it, why not?

Speaker 1:

And so I went into my old business, which was promotional products marketing products for businesses, so B2B products and I just started pursuing that and set up a website and started blogging, taught myself to do content marketing, which I hadn't done at that point, but I took some best practices that I had learned from my previous employer when it came to online selling and just applied it in this other space and things started happening. I talk about going with the flow. The flow was there. My first client was NASDAQ and again, when you're doing what the universe wants you to do and not to get too woo-woo on you, but the flow will be there. The flow was telling me I'm going in the right direction, keep pursuing this. Clients started coming. I didn't have to do much to make that happen and the money started coming in. And then that just boom skyrocketed this company which I started in 2012. And I just let that flow take me in that direction.

Speaker 2:

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Speaker 2:

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Speaker 2:

I'm just going to go back to when you made those decisions to leave, right Like the intuition, and to listen to it. So I think one of the things that came up when you were talking about that is like you had a choice. Right, like you can stay in the role that you have. You're making great money. You kind of had it where you could just show up to work pretty easy. Right Like you can take the easy route.

Speaker 2:

Your intuition was telling you but there's more, but there's more. And you're, you know, when you hear those things, you're like yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I know that. But like what over here? Like this is comfortable, like this is great. But then that voice sometimes doesn't go away and I like remember when I was having those voices and I remember thinking in my head like, but I don't have the answers, I just wanted the answers. Right, like that is the control freak perfectionist in me that at that moment really wanted that. That was back like six years ago. And then you also had the choice of you know what. I'm going to take everything that's coming my way and I'm going to not know what the future is going to hold, but I'm going to trust and that's what you did, right. You took that moment. You trusted Scary. So when you were talking about yours, all I could think about was two months after I left my corporate job. I'll never forget bawling my eyes out to someone.

Speaker 2:

What did I do Right, because two months ago I was like calm and like this is exactly what I should be doing. Totally yeah. And to have those emotions it is like wild, because you're like I know I did the right thing. Why do I feel this way? It's like kind of like a crap moment in a way. Totally, totally yes.

Speaker 1:

And so that's exactly what I experienced. Exactly the same thing, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And it's like then you have to slow down. And that, I think, is the hardest part, because when you slow down to figure out like well, what am I going to do, the money's not coming in.

Speaker 1:

Right Like.

Speaker 2:

I remember that moment I had to get a part-time job to pay my bills so that I could like, and then I use the other time to slow down and figure it out. But I think there's so much power in that and I remember even hearing people are like freaking out about what's to come and it's like I get it. You have to put food on the table, you have to pay your bills, you want to put away retirement. Like I get it, like I am full blown into that. At the time it was just me, right. Like you had a son, like I just had me and my dog, right. But I knew that I also didn't want to work until I was 99, you know, like I wanted that retirement.

Speaker 2:

And so you, you get all these thoughts in your head. You, what are people going to think? Am I doing this? I had this great job and so it's it's. All of these thoughts come into play but, like, you went back to grounded on like, well, what am I good at? Right and I teach a lot about zone of genius and like what are you good at? How are you going to focus on that and and move forward? And I read also that when you left your job, you had $400 in your bank account.

Speaker 1:

Well, I no. That's you know what. I hope I didn't write it that way, okay.

Speaker 2:

Maybe that's what I read wrong.

Speaker 1:

Yes, so I didn't want to spend the money because I didn't have the income coming in, so I invested only $400.

Speaker 2:

I see Okay, okay, so you invested $400 into yourself. When you got started?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, of course. Yeah, I had been making good money and I had some savings, which has allowed me to to take that risk Right Not a ton, but but cause it's expensive to live in LA and I had a kid. You know like it's. I did not have a lot of money, but so I could only really invest that 400 bucks. I said, you know what I'm going to use that money? To how to register something for my business, uh, pay for a hosting plan for my website, um, but I wasn't spending, I wasn't going to spend any money. And you know, again, I was going to test it out and see like, is this, is this something, could I make some money from this? But when the proof of concept started coming in, I'm like great. So from then I could then reinvest some of the money I made from the business, but I only took out $400 to invest into that company.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, investing in that. So, really, though, like you started with $400 investing in your business, right, and you built this amazing company, and I know that that's not what you do anymore.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no. I sold that company for half a million dollars.

Speaker 2:

Wow, oh my God, congratulations, thank you, okay. So yeah, like take us there. So obviously you took another step right, like so did the steps get easier as you took more fear, like fearless steps, or was it like every time it was like an oh crap, moment?

Speaker 1:

There were a lot of oh crap moments, because you have to. If you're going to level up and just go to other levels, you have to take those oh crap moments. It's going to happen. You know, I had this mindset don't spend too much money, reinvest. But I also had to take care of myself with the income I produced from the company. But at some point I know you talked about perfectionism that was definitely something that I used to struggle with, and I say used to, because I learned to adopt an 80% is good enough mindset, which was a total game changer for me.

Speaker 1:

I was a perfectionist to the core, which I came to find out is a limiting belief and a fear-based belief, which is if I'm not perfect, my work isn't acceptable. It's this fear-based belief that you have to do everything just right, or people won't value you, your work won't be good enough. It's really a fear-based belief or people won't value you, your work won't be good enough. It's really a fear-based belief. And so that belief system caused me to not let go and delegate. Hire people where I could delegate. I tried to hire people, but then I would micromanage them and expect perfectionism out of them, just like I expected it out of myself, which is not realistic and you cannot grow and scale that way. So I had an aha moment when I was watching an episode of Shark Tank, barbara Corcoran. She says to this entrepreneur you know what? You have a great product, love your business, but I'm not going to invest because you have to be perfect and that is going to prevent you from scaling. She's like I can tell you aren't able to delegate and therefore you won't be able to scale and I can't invest in you. She says I used to be that way and I adopted this 80% is good enough mindset and it was a game changer for me and I had a huge aha moment at that point and I literally just decided to change what I was doing.

Speaker 1:

Lay off of people, you know, not go back and say, hey, you made a typo in that thing. Who cares Like? I forgave people when they sent me those emails with typos. And, by the way, I will say to this day, like sometimes, you know, I have an email series that I write I'll love notes to myself, and it's a weekly email series, self love reminders, and you know what, occasionally I'll make a mistake. And it's a weekly email series, self-love reminders, and you know what, occasionally I'll make a mistake and I've had somebody point out once like, hey, here's a typo in your free email that you send out to people that you take your time and energy to do. You know she had to point out. It wasn't like thank you for this beautiful. It was like did you know? You had a typo? And I thought to myself instantly I'm sorry for you, because if you can't forgive me for that mistake, you can't forgive yourself, you know and that was I can resonate so much with all of that.

Speaker 2:

I literally like, I mean because I can catch myself and I'll send something off, like my edits, back to someone and then I'll be like, did I need to say all of that? Did it really matter? Right, like it's because we get this, like this is the way that I want to do it, but really does it have to be that way? So I have to. I have to actually coach myself a lot of times when that perfectionism kind of like creeps in, especially because you make a great point, jenna like a lot of entrepreneurs, we start out, we, we want this like and I honestly I'm not even going to say entrepreneurs like people in careers, like I saw this in corporate, I see this in small businesses all the time Like that we have this. Like we start a business because we have an idea, we want to make an impact, we have all of these things that we want to do. Sometimes it's to sell it right, all of these types of things.

Speaker 2:

But what prevents people from scaling versus not scaling is the fact of like believing in themselves and perfectionism and letting go. And I think it's just, even if you're a leader, even if you're starting out. That is like a great point to make, that those can make or break you, because some people aren't entrepreneurs listening to this podcast, right, but it's about like having that confidence inside of yourself to know like, hey, I want to move up to the next level, I want to do these things. What are the steps that I'm going to have to take in order to do that right?

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, exactly, and that was what I needed to be able to scale my business, because I knew I didn't want to be working these 12-hour days and killing myself, being a perfectionist and handling everything. I'm like something has to give. I can't take a vacation, I cannot walk away from my business for an hour, like it's totally dependent on me, so I'm like I can't. This is not sustainable, and so that force thankfully I'd seen that episode of shark take in the nick of time and it allowed me to to make the business sustainable for me, because I could not continue on that path. I would burn out if I stuck with it like that. So I ended up hiring people, actually in the Philippines, and yeah, and so I was able to cut my costs way down and afford more people, which hadn't really been done in my business Maybe one or two companies had done it, but it allowed me to scale with the profit margins that we work with in that industry and be able to reduce my time spent to like an hour to two hours a day Wow. So I moved across the country, started investing into property in Atlanta which was much more cost effective than California, started some Airbnb businesses. I had two businesses going at the same time and yet both were very easy to manage. So I got myself a little bored again because it was too easy and comfortable. And it was just kind of a magical moment when I decided to sell the company because I got this again the universe. Sometimes the universe pushes you out, sometimes the universe inspires you and you have to be willing to seize those opportunities and and go with that inspiration.

Speaker 1:

I got a little postcard in the mail that said learn how to sell your business, and I hadn't really thought of it at that point Cause I really didn't think I'd be able to get much for it based on what I knew of the industry and the financials and all that stuff. So I went to the free course that was put on by a business broker. It was a class, maybe like three hours or something, and in that three hours I learned some things I had never known before. So it challenged some of my limiting beliefs about selling my company, inspired me and I thought well shoot, I realized that someone could actually find a lot of value in this business, maybe not just by buying it and taking it over, but maybe they have a lateral business. So mine was marketing products for businesses. This could make really good sense for a company that sells paper products like printed brochures and catalogs and things like that to companies. It's the same buyer who buys both types of products. They could cross sell to each other's customer base and be a win-win for both companies.

Speaker 1:

And I thought, wow, I 'd never really thought of it like that before. So I found a business broker who worked only on commission, so I wasn't out of pocket if she didn't sell the company. She did a business valuation on my business. It came in at like $320,000 based on the SBA financial models, and I thought, nope, it's not worth it to me to sell it for that because it's kind of on autopilot and making good income from it. That doesn't make sense. But if I could get a half a million dollars I could pursue some other things.

Speaker 1:

I would like to challenge myself again and go in a whole new direction in my career. I had a book idea in mind, thought I wanted to get into public speaking. Maybe Actually I hadn't thought of public speaking at that time, or maybe I had, I don't remember. But anyways I was inspired to do it. But I thought half a million dollars I could invest in myself in all new ways and challenge myself again. You know what? I had a deal in 30 days, wow. And that was again me knowing okay, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. The universe inspired me. I followed that inspiration. I got what I wanted. I asked for what I wanted, which I think is key. It's a huge motto of mine you get 100% of what you don't ask for. If you want it, you have to ask for it. And you would be surprised, I find, around 80% of the time I get it.

Speaker 2:

That's amazing Good memory for people right Like good, good technique.

Speaker 1:

It's a great technique and I apply it in everyday situations. Just today we had you know, we have something being installed a wall bed, a Murphy bed in one of in our guest room. They asked to reschedule and they wanted to come at nine o'clock on a Saturday and it was like I'd rather you come on at 10 o'clock, can you come at 10? But a lot of us just are afraid to ask for those little things. But if you get in the habit of saying you know what, can you come at 10 instead? Oh, yeah, sure you get a.

Speaker 1:

Yes, you would be surprised if you practice that muscle on the little things. When it comes to the bigger things, you don't hesitate as much and you would be surprised. It might be a thousand dollars off that $10,000 thing. That seems super expensive, but if you could get it for nine you'd be happier. Ask you know the job like you know what. This is great, but it'd be great if I could get three weeks vacation instead of two weeks vacation when you're in negotiation on the job. Ask you get 100% of what you don't ask for.

Speaker 1:

So I asked for it, I got it and, bam, I was like okay, universe, now I owe you a book and I'm challenging myself even more, and so that's led me to where I am today. I'm a best selling author of a book that is changing people's lives every single day. I get countless comments on social media and messages through email, and it's just amazing to think that, you know, following those intuitions and my inspiration and letting the universe co-create along with me and asking for what I want, and all these things I've had to learn the hard way in life has led me to where I am today, and you know I'm 51. I feel like I have so much more potential in me and I can't even imagine you know what's in store for me in the future.

Speaker 2:

I love that and I will say like I will scroll TikTok and I'll be like a book review on Jenna's book, Like it's so cool to see like a friend, like just be like killing it in the book industry, Right, and so give us kind of like the cliff notes of your book, if you wouldn't mind. Like just kind of like give us like that piece so that the audience can check it out, and we'll put it also in the show notes as well.

Speaker 1:

Oh, thank you. Well, it's called I Love Me More how to Find Happiness and Success Through Self Love, which I feel like has been the journey of my life, one part of it, but one key part of it. Choosing to put myself first and prioritize my needs goes against social norms, goes against what society tells us women to do, us mothers to do. You don't put yourself first, you put everyone else first. That's what you're supposed to do. But I had to challenge those beliefs from a very early age and it wasn't easy and I did concern. You know, when I was younger, especially in my 20s, as a young, single mom, I certainly did occasionally worry, like what would my neighbor think? What would you know? The other parents think you know? But to constantly choose myself and put myself first and set that aside, acknowledge it and but yet not let it guide my behavior, has absolutely paid off in spades. And so when I got to this point where I had been dating somebody I was really in love with, we'd only been together for like five months, but I realized this man was not capable of giving me what I needed in a relationship. I communicated it, I was very clear and he wasn't capable, so I had to break it off and it really hurt a lot. I was quite heartbroken. Go to dinner with a friend of mine and she's like why would you break up with this guy? I know you still love him. And I'm like, well, because I love me more. And she's just giving me this blank stare, like what do you mean, jenna? And so I spent that whole evening at dinner breaking down for her what that means to me to love me more, to prioritize my needs, prioritize myself, to value myself and not rely on someone else for that, but that I require a certain type of treatment. And if I'm not going to get it, then I have to treat myself better and not allow myself to be in that situation. She still didn't get it, which was I thought I got through to her. But a few weeks later she called me and she's like, oh my God, jenna, I got it. I got it. I love me more.

Speaker 1:

She had been thinking about it. She really wanted to understand. And it hit her because she was dating someone who wasn't treating her with enough value and she was always trying to wonder where do we stand? Does this guy like me? Where are we at? He'd send her these cryptic text messages. She was always trying to figure out. She was always agonizing over the relationship and she realized, huh, I am not valuing myself by putting up with this. It clicked for her and she's like Jenna, thank you. I've been telling my friends about this and we's like Jenna, thank you. You know, I've been telling my friends about this and and we were calling it I love me more. And I was like wow, and it came true, that's amazing.

Speaker 1:

You know, it's huge, because it changed her life, you know, and her friend's lives too. And I thought, wow, this is powerful. She's like Jenna. It would really be helpful if you could break down how you got there. How did you get to this point where you can make yourself your highest priority? And I really had to think about it. And so I I started writing and then I thought, oh, you know what, I was just journaling, I was doing it for her. Yeah, I really wanted to break it down for her and I thought you know what? I think I can share this with more people and help more people, you know.

Speaker 2:

Awesome.

Speaker 1:

And so thus the book came to life. The book was born, yeah, yeah, so, yeah, so it's been an amazing journey. I have more books in me. I'm excited to you know, I also get to bring it on to stages. I've brought it to. I think my biggest stage was the virtual events I did with Bank of America, with their women in tech and ops team 1,500 people from around the globe. Yes, thank you, thank you, and that was amazing. So I'm just trying to get that message out there as many ways as I can, but speaking is another way, besides the book as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so kind of to like end today's podcast. What is one piece of advice or thing that you want to leave the audience with?

Speaker 1:

Oh you know what. There are so many. But if I were to hone in on one, it's that feeling, that feeling inside of you pushing you in the direction that might go against what's comfortable for you. It might feel scary to think about If you, if you have that feeling like, huh, I'd like to start my company, but then you start to feel scared or some kind of angst, like we've got to like not let those things stop us because you know that is an indication that we're going against a pattern and we should challenge you, know ourselves and not like let those feelings you know dictate, for example, the negative feelings, fear and guilt.

Speaker 1:

We shouldn't let those things dictate staying in our comfort zone, you know, because if we could push ourselves outside of our comfort zone, we jump into the unknown, and I know you've experienced this as well, lisa. Jumping into the unknown is scary but it creates change and life is so much more invigorating when you can jump in the unknown and change some of those comfortable patterns, you will find that you are able to face adversity and trust yourself and come through the other side much more resilient and energized and passionate, and to me that's what life is worth. Life is worth exploring and living life to your fullest potential, and I'd rather do that than stay in my comfort zone any day.

Speaker 2:

Amen, I love all of that. Thank you, jenna, so much for just like a powerful story, for sharing how you've overcome so many things in life but to get to where you are today. I'm so proud of you. I loved hearing your story and thank you so much for being on the podcast today, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for having me on. I appreciate you, lisa.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for tuning into today's podcast. I had such a great time learning from Jenna, hearing her story and really just being honored to be sitting in the same spot as her, hearing how she has overcome so much adversity to get to where she is today. If you enjoyed today's podcast, please subscribe to our YouTube channel, follow us on all podcast platforms and, of course, leave us a review. We'd love to hear how you are utilizing the podcast in your life. You can also DM me at LisaTarkingtonOfficial. We have many tools that can help you on your journey to self-love, to confidence, to well-being, and that's our Lead Within platform, along with Coaching With Me. We are here to support you in any way, and in the show notes we also put information more about Jenna's book. I Love Me More, so, as I always say at every podcast, continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet and have a great day.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Confident Podcast. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Confident Podcast. If today's episode resonated with you, head over to leadconfidentlyorg for today's show notes, along with discounts to our services. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button, leave a review and follow us on Instagram and YouTube at the Confident Podcast. Your feedback means the world to me and it helps more people discover the show. And hey, if you're feeling inspired to dive deeper, let's connect. You can find me on instagram at lisa tarkington official. Drop me a message and let's explore how I can support your journey to confidence and leadership. Remember you have the power to choose confidence every single day. Keep showing up, keep striving and keep believing in your potential. I I'm cheering you on and I'll see you next time.

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Lisa Tarkington

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